A Reason


I’ve decided to write a blog to sort out how I feel and what I think about a lot of things; hence the title, Emotiofeel.  Emotional and Feelings..I made it up.  I have no idea where I will go with this but I suppose I can start with current events which is the death of my mother.  I suppose this is a brief description of her.  I’m not sure exactly what it is…but, it is a beginning so here it is:

My mother, the woman who was alway’s negative and ruled by guilt, the woman who was the devout Roman-Catholic who went to church every Sunday and worried so much about how the public saw her, the woman who compared her family to her friends families all the time because she so wanted to live like The Waltons.  My mother, the woman who fought for my life when I was young and sickly and could have just let me go since she did have 3 healthy children at home..as one docotr or nurse pointed out to her.  My mother, the woman I was there for until the end, the woman, I visited most every day, went to her doctor appointments and listened to her scream at me about how angry she was about being moved from her mobile home while in the doctors offices waiting rooms, the woman who threw dramatic fits in the street or whereever if it would help to get what she wanted and scream, “If you do, I’ll kill myself!!”  , the woman who in the end I helped to dress and toilet before moving her into a home and once moved I visited and looked into her eyes which didn;t really see me anymore, the woman who knew me one second but called me by my sisters name the next..  My mother, the woman whose body I stayed alone with while waiting for someone to come talk to me about the Mortuary etc…  The same woman who I had a whole one-sided conversation with and whose cheek I kissed while knowing at the time that she was already gone but believing she could hear me when I said I love her and Good-Bye 
    

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1 Comment

  1. Wowww how definitely emotional. You will surely have the jewel of patience and tolorance in heaven. HUGS Kristy!


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