Alway’s Knew I’m Still Different


According to good old Mirriam Webster (Yes, some of us still read books.  We write them too but that is another topic., I have Apathy.
Apathy-Loss of Interest, Loss of Emotion. 
There ya go. I don’t have emotion..at least not for this anymore.  My mind is really blank.  What’s worse is I can’t cry or feel anything when I hear other people’s stories.  I’m sitting in the Grief Group listening to people talk about their relatives being shot or tragic acidents..and a few like mine and everyone is passing around the tissue box.  Not me.  Don’t need it.  So weird.  And it’s obviously the 2nd one.  How many people (aside from some men) would really have loss of emotion at the death of their mother.

  “The results showed that you have two changes that would explain your Propionic Acidemia.  One of the changes have been seen in other people with a more mild form of the disorder, and the other mutation has never been seen before.”
 So, this comes as part of an e-mail today from a doctor at UCLA in regards to a disease I was born with.  I’ve been having a lot of health problems lately and we don’t know if any are PA related.  Anyway, I’m like, Wow!, I should call mom and tell her.  If had mom been in the home she probably would not have understood anyway..but my mind flashed back to when she was normal (not sick) and lived in the mobile home and I’m sure my father would have had some interesting wisecrack as well.

The Facilitator of the Grief Group made us pins (badges?) to wear or hang somewhere saying, “BPWMIAAGP…Be Patient With Me, I Am A Grieving Person.  While a wonderful gesture I guess.  I’m sure not wearing that while walking down the streeet.  Next you will see badges like “It’s Not My Fault, I’m On PMS.” and am I supposed to hang it where I can remind myself that I am grieving (No, really?) or that I need to be patient with myself? or do I hang it somewhere where my husband can see it and keep having him get annoyed and think I am using that as an excuse for things.

Lastly so as not to bore you to much on this one, I went to KOHL,S today and there was this lady in front of me at the Check-Out that looked almost exactly like my mother from behind.  She had the same outfit on that mom would have worn and the same hair style but…she was fatter.  My mother has always been thin
.
So wait, does thjat take our Apathy theory right out the window?  If all these people I’m seeing are actually related somehow then we have a really large family. Just taking a stab at what I’ll call “Apathetic Humor”.   

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