Back To Normal For Now..Whatever That Is.

Last night for the first time in a long time my friend Brian and I went karaokying.  Every year we go for a Karaoke/Costume Contest somewhere for Halloween.  We didn’t win (a lot of times it is who they know) but it was a lot of fun and  the whole day yesterday was just busy fun.  I dressed up Petey as a Hot Dog and took him to PETCO for a Halloween Pet Contest.  He didn’t win either but here is a picture.  I think it fits his personality.

  It is so good to have some energy and feel almost normal again..whatever that was for me before that major depression episode hit.  I think I like Zoloft.

WordPress Addiction

I’m addicted to WordPress.  Every day I check the Stats probably at least 3 times. Do people care?  Also, did I make the Featured Blogs?  Is my entry easy to find on the Most Popular Tags, and Tag Surfer..Maybe someone is talking about something I can relate to and I can Follow them.  So, I can spend hours reading Blogs.  A good yet bad thing with my ADD.    It used to be computer games but not anymore.  Now, it’s Blogging and the fact that anyone in the world can read my thoughts.  What a concept.  Whoever came up with this idea deserves an award! 

One of my favorite movies is The Truman Show.  Plus, I remember on FX they actually had a guy film his life for like a week.  The idea of  watching how someone else lives is amazing to me even if they are just like me.  I don’t care if they sit in their pajama’s all day and watch T.V.. and drink beer.  It’s simply that invasion of privacy factor.  Not to mention, you also get to see how they decorated their house, what they eat for breakfast, where they buy their groceries, how they make their money, etc.

This is one addiction I do not want cured.

Followers and Blogging

Today I want to talk about Followers.

  Do you Follow people Blogs because they are your friends or friend of friends?  Do you Follow people’s Blogs because you find them interesting and do you look for people who have something in common with you?  I tend to look for people whom I have something in common with.  A certain lifestyle.  Some of the same moralistic beliefs as well as whatever the main topic is of which I was interested..Depression, ADD, etc.. whatever the Blog is about at the time.  I also follow close friends blogs.  I once followed the wife of my husband’s friends Blog because I really wanted to try to get to know her better but alas, her life is far from mine in all aspects.  Which bring me to my next topic..

 When you decide to stop following..do you ever give the Blogger advanced warning?  I have private blog on another site and I had made the mistake (before making it Private) of explaining before leaving why I was going to end the communication with whoever.  Most were okay with it but some would get totally offended!  We are strangers so that is just ridiculous.  I did not degrade anyone in any way.  I may have told someone that I did not agree with their lifestyle so it would not work for me but please…

  Anyway, What are some of the reasons you stop following Blogs?  Do you get tired of them after a while as time goes on and their content changes?  One reason, I finally stopped following my husbands, friends, wifes, Blog is because after a while it felt as if I was just following it because of who she was.  When I did make a comment to her on Facebook about her blog she never said anything plus she knows I have a Blog and as far as I know she never once looked at it.  If she see’s this now, I hope she understands. 

 I now stop following Blogs when I realize the blogger and I just don’t have enough in common or when I discover something I had not known about their lifestyle that I do not believe in, etc..  On WordPress, I simply disappear into the masses with no forwarning..one less Follower on your list.  I think of Followers as my friends and if I choose to Follow you, your Blog will probably make my Blogroll.

Wknd and Health

Saturday was a good day.  The sun was shining.  I got the house decorated inside for Halloween and bought a new Ghoul for the outside graveyard and we went to Spaghetti Factory, my favorite restaurant.

Then, Sunday showed up.  Went to the Swap-Meet and fell over one of those cement parking space markers.  Messed up my knee a little.  It’s only surface but still hurts a bit.  Luckily, it didn’t swell.  At church, one of the guys had a seizure.  He suddenly grabbed his head before his whole body shook and he went down.  I just received an e-mail saying he is doing better but he doesn’t remember anything other than singing at church than waking up in the hospital.  Scary.

I saw my Neurologist yesterday who said I am doing okay as far as my headaches are concerned.  As he said, I know my headaches better than he does.  In truth, I’m sure he would prefer I take the medicine the way he wants me to however, he would have me skip the Tylenol and Head-On entirely and go straight to the Maxalt, and Imatrex.  I would probably get addicted that way and most of the time Tylenol will cut the pain before the headache turns into a full-fledged Migraine.

I still have those weird leg pains at night (although not every night) and last night every muscle in my body ached.   Then, this morning I felt weird like my whole right arm hurt and since I’ve read about RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) and the possibility that it can lead to Heart Attacks and Strokes and I had just seen what had happened to George at church, I started freaking out a bit.  But, that’s a bit silly.  From what I read my symptoms don’t even seem to match RLS.  I have a Physical set in November so if  it  is still happening I will talk to the Dr. about it then.

We are running low on Low-Protein Food so I just ordered a little over $80.00 from Cambrooke, a low-protein food company and despite the argument on the phone with the insurance company, after sending the paperwork in, the company called and said the insurance company will cover 50% of the cost as of the next order.  I had to order this one first though; as it gets tough once you meet your protein quota and still need a snack with calories.

ADD/ADHD Intelligence Level

Okay, So, I’m a little confused.  Seems in reading most blogs about ADHD/ADD, most people are Geniuses or at least super smart.  I am neither.  I have other problems.  I think my Intelligence is below average.  Yet, I still have ADD.  One person said he is highly intelligent and his doctor said he has the “classic signs of ADHD”.  Why is this common?  What would be the percentage of smart people verses under-achieving type people like me with ADD?  I am not stupid.  I did write and publish a Children’s book on Lulu.com. and I am working on another book at present. 

If Smartness or being at Genius level is a prerequisite for ADD/ADHD then my Psychiatrist and the TOVA Test diagnosis was completely and utterly wrong!

ADD & Time

I’m not sure my husband agree’s with the ADD  diagnosis but I do.  Actually, maybe he does but not with the idea of another medication.  He is insisting that this still has to do with the fact that I am afraid he may leave me.  This may have started from there or it may have started when my mother died but I don’t think I’ve even considered that for a long time.

  As far as the medication, my main problems seems to be focusing on something.  I’ll tell my husband I will watch a show with him after I take my pills and get a snack.  However, when I take my pills I have to be looking at the computer so I don’t focus on swallowing and I don’t choke.  While looking at the computer I get involved in reading articles or a Facebook Game or maybe even here at WordPress.  Soon my husband is asking me if I am still coming and I’m like..”Oh yeah, I’m sorry”  and I still need to make and eat a snack before I can watch something.  Plus, I’ll read a date for a doctors referral and think I missed the referral so I’ll e-mail my Primary requesting a new referral because the old referral expired.  After he says okay, I re-read the 1st referral and the date does not expire til next month so I am actually okay for another 2-3 weeks. 

 Things like this keep happening and are driving me crazyl.  Lately, I keep telling my husband I want to watch shows with him that I think have been recorded on DVR which haven’t been recorded yet.  He sort of snapped tonight and said he cannot invent time.

  My Therapist said ADD doesn’t have anything to do with Time Management but then again she hasn’t helped ADD/ADHD people in a long time so she may have forgotten.

A Vegetarian That Cannot Eat Salad?

I am a Flexitarian…which means I am a Semi-Vegetarian or one who rarely eats meat.  I am on a low-protein diet with my disease and I eat a lot of starches.  For us, that is good.  I prefer a Veggie Dog to a regular Hot Dog most of the time however some restaurant chains do not have those therefore I will have All-Beef.  Lately, I’ve discovered when eating salads and fruit my stomach goes on revolt.  How can one be a Vegetarian or even a Flexitarian without salads or fruit?  I’ll eat them anyway knowing I will be paying for it, just as I know on the days I go over my protein allotment I will be paying for it.  Such is my life of stomach discontentment.   

Aside from the fact that I cannot have much protein being the reason I am a Flexitarian, I really do not believe in the eating of animals here in the U.S.  We have so much food here with so many options.  We are no longer Cave Dwellers who need to hunt for our food.  The earth provides so much and it is healthy.  I do not force my belief on others.  My husband is a definite Carnivore and we actually have different shelves of the refrigerator.  I just wanted to share/explain my reasoning for my choice.

I also buy non-animal-tested products as often as possible. 

Can you tell I am an Animal rights person?  However, I will never go so far as to throw mud at Fur Coats or get stupid or non-sensical as that.  That is ridiculous.  The coats are already made and it does nothing to save anyone or anything.

New Diagnosis

It’s official.  I’ve been diagnosed with ADULT ADHD.  It actually makes sense now.  Read the symptoms.  I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother had ADHD also.  I am surprised I was not tested as a child what with my disease and all my other problems.  How did they miss that?  It explains why I have a hard time on so many simple things or things that are simple to most..why I interrupt people..maybe even why I think so much differently then others..not to mention why I’ve had problems at  jobs.

  Now, I have a problem with my Psychiatrist.  I don’t want to see him anymore.  I don’t think I will.  I need to talk to my husband and my Primary about it.  First of all he is constantly pushing me to stop my Caffeine.  That is NOT going to happen.  You can tell me til your blue in the face about whatever research you read that Caffeine causes headaches and does not help Migraines.  I’ve read other and I live with Migraines and I know what helps me and you’re not the one in bed with the pounding headaches and you’re not the one that would be going through withdrawals (should you survive them) not just with a pounding headache but vomiting or worse yet, winding up in the hospital because you seriously cannot function.  It’s happened before and those headaches weren’t even explained.  I had every test in the world and was drugged up for a week straight before coming out of it.  So, just Shut Up Doc, Right Now!  Now, I have ADHD he is pushing Adderral.  But first, he wants me to take another TOVA TEST which is Not covered by my insurance.  Nor, was the 1st one.  I took the 1st one after taking 3-4 other written tests from two different doctors with varied results and wanting a definitive confirmation.  I knew the 1st ToVA test was not covered by insurance but thought the two TOVA tests were together.  No such luck.  You take the 1st TOVA test then they give you Adderal then they have you take a 2nd TOVA test to see how much Adderal will make a difference and every 6 months or so you continue.  When I spoke to him about the insurance issue, my doctor copped a very bad attitude.  He doesn’t like to talk about money.  Mental health is important, blah, blah, blah.  He will accept a payment plan.  He actually said..”If you don’t want to pay, “I just won’t help you anymore.”  WTH?  I almost walked out then.   My mind has actually started to calm down quite a bit while on the Zoloft and I do not even want another drug right now and while reading about ADHD I’ve read there are other ways to deal with this.  I know this doctors field is ADD/ADHD but I think he also majored in Pushiness.

While at  the Therapist  (not the Psychiatrist) I brought up Operation Christmas Child as I was telling her I feel sort of bad this year as only having been able to make 7 boxes whereas last year I was able to make 24 but with finances the way they are and being on disability and all my medical problems this year, etc.. Anyway, she mentioned that she no longer counsels children under 13 and she had some toys in the back room and would I like them? Some were a bit large though. Of course I said Yes! The large ones can go to Spark of Love or Toy’s For Tots. Little did I know what a blessing this was going to be.

SOME TOYS turned out to be 6 enormous bins full of toys. Plastic-Dishes and Food, Doll-House Families and Furniture, Musical Instruments, a whole bin of Stuffed Animals, toys for 2 Year olds, Erasers and Globe Key Chains for 10-14 Year olds, and the large toys?.. A big Rag Doll. I want to fold her up and fit her in a regular shoebox to send off. If I could, I would. A Drum and a Gigantic Pony! Some child will love this! God is so good!

I have been working lately on making a ‘Frog Box’. Everything in the box is Frog themed or the colors of the main stuffed Frog. I don’t know why. God told me this box is going to a child who loves Frogs. The last two shopping trips I have found absolutely nothing Frog themed. In these bins there was a Frog Puppet and a Frog Maraca. I have never seen a Frog Maraca. It is adorable.

“Minor” Flu

I was starting to feel a bit better yesterday then today I woke up sweating and although the diarrhea had started to calm down before I got sick it’s come back plus, I’ve been having horrible pains in my legs that have been waking me up at night and I have to get up and walk around the room,. I’m not sure which doctor to discuss this with but I think that also may be a side effect of the Zoloft and I have an appointment with that doctor next week. Plus, I had another bad Migraine last night and needed Imatrex which all goes with the territory.  I am also back to having chills again.  I think I’ve deduced this to a minor Flu but hey the key word is “Minor”.  That’s why I get a Flu Shot…to keep things “Minor”.  Especially with my disease, that is key.  My husband has started to feel sick now too In the past few days so here we go. That’s the thing about being married. Even not sharing a bedroom..we still share most everything.

In good news..CHOC (Children’s Hospital of Orange County) called and I am going to be approved for a (she said a Psych but she meant to say Intelligence Test). I need to call and correct her on that.

Operation Christmas Child Approaches

Feeling a little bit better today and surprisingly I may even sound better although not much because I keep having to yell at the damned dog to stop barking.  The vet wants me to cut down on his food which is hard to do when he barks for it.  He thinks the dog needs to lose about 3 lbs.

  Speaking of weight, I am inadvertently losing again.  Not by much but the scale is supposed to be going up not down.  Oh well, I’ve been sick.  What do you do?

  One negative or positive (depending on which way you want to look at it) thing to being sick is I am spending way to much time at this computer and on E-bay.  Although, the articles and things I am reading on the computer are interesting and  I am even making new friends or at least finding new interesting  journals on WordPress and the things I am buying on E-bay are not expensive and things I have been wanting or needing to get.  I think I am down to one more thing to get for Christmas and completely finished.  Maybe I’ll start wrapping today.  Plus, Collection Week for Operation Christmas Child is coming up in a few weeks. 

 Operation Christmas Child is a part of Samaritan’s Purse.  http://samaritanspurse.org. which was started by Franklin Graham, Son of Billy Graham where they pack shoe boxes and send them to children in other countries.  These are the  only gifts these children will probably ever receive plus they are also taught about Christ.  It is super easy to fill a shoe-box with toys and the project is completed in early November..long before Christmas so it doesn’t interfere with the major Holiday.  I’ve even put notes in my boxes and received some letters back.

   I also went to a convention and spoke with someone personally from one of the countries where one of my boxes went who told me it went to a family in a very, remote area that is full of rebels where it is very dangerous and the people have nothing.  These shoe boxes go to the poorest of the poor.