Whining on WordPress

Please be thankful for what you have be it a roof over your head, a working car, a bag of food, one arm, or even just the ability to use the retroom without pain.

Forgive me as I need to whine and vent a bit in this one.  It is so sad and a bit embarrassing  to be practically crying while in the restroom doing my business because it feels as if I am passing knives thanks to these fissures/hemmhroids.  You would think I had already had surgery and was breaking stitches with the pain I am in every time I go.  I know I need to eat fiberous foods and drink more water but I dread doing so because then I just go more often and the cycle continues.  I can barely sit comfortably and had to order myself a pillow for home to sit on.  I barely want to go anywhere when I feel well enough.  Luckily, in Vegas I could sit on a chair and not move for a bit.  It’s sad to look forwrd to seeing the specialist (Again) so this time I can beg for step 2 which is Botox.the step before surgery.  Obviously, the cream she gave me is not working.  I can barely even touch the area to apply it without pain and sometimes I think my whole ass cheek area becomes inflamed and does not want to open to let anything out.  Plus, to make my life more enjoyable…  (read with Sarcasm, please.) with the change in diet while in Vegas and back here I have been having accidents unknowingly (duh, they are accidents) in the middle of the night.  What a lovely thing to wake up to.  I am so glad my husband and I have separate rooms.  I am so glad I have such a patient and understanding husband.

Anyway, please remember there is alway’s someone worse off then you.  I know there are many people worse off then me.  I also know there are many people going through the same experiences.

But Yes, I do want to feel sorry for myself a bit now.  I want this to be over with.  I want to walk and crap like a normal person again without pain.  I think I did that before..I barely remember.  I want Botox, I want Surgery, I want Pain Pills.  I want anything it takes to stop all this stuff.  I don’t want pity but I do want understanding if at all possible.

I do feel a little better having written it all out.


  1. strength!

  2. Oh Poor hurty butt! I cant even FATHOM what youre going through. Im praying…Its perfectly ok to vent too. HUGGGGS…

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