Sharing To Much

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has advice. They may have been through a similar situation but it is NOT the same. They were not married to the same man. They do not have the same disabilities as I. They are not in the same financial situation. One thing I’ve learned from this experience is not to share the finer details anymore about the issues. We are doing things our way. Yes, I said “We.” He is still my husband at the moment. Legally, we are still married. We start divorce proceedings (the paperwork aspect or the consultation or whatever) on Monday. He is supportive in that way and will continue to be. That is nobody’s business but mine!

We looked at apartments all day. We actually signed for one as far as having the credit checked. It is a cute condo. However, the more I’ve been thinking about it. I really want a one-bedroom with a back yard area for the dog. The condo had a front patio only which, would prove awkward for the dog, and it was a bit small.

Emotionally, I contacted my doctor who gave me Xanax to calm down. After one pill, I know it can be addictive. I think I may only need one a day or so. It gets me back on an even keel. I stop crying, I literally float in a euphoric fog. I also sleep. Last night I finally slept over 5 hours straight. It was wonderful!

My thoughts still go in and out as I pack. I’ve accepted it to a point. But, things won’t really hit until I move out which may not be to soon because I am finding it hard to find a one-bedroom that takes pets, with a small yard, in a decent price range. I found one will open up in mid-June. It’s 900 square feet which would be fantastic.

I’m willing to wait, if necessary. I mean..we don’t fight. Especially now I have my Xanax to fall back on. But, a month? I don’t know. The packing?..The acceptance? I am liable to forget just why I am packing at all if I wait to long.

1 Comment

  1. Yes hes still your husband at the moment but thats a legal technicality and no more-he changed it from relationship to legal technicality not you. Right now you are in all the stages of divorce. I went through every one and more than once I know them well. There is shock, hurt, denial, anger and acceptance. When you get past the 1st 3 GF, you will be able to see with more clarity your realities. One thing is sure HE WILL CHANGE. Mr nice will NOT last. As he becomes more and more “single” he will be less and less nice. Especially when he begins to date-and he will mark my words. I have watched my ex go from mr amicable divorce to WTF in a heartbeat when someone new is in their life because now someone else is whispering the you shoulds in their ear. Yeah my ex is not your ex (soon to be whatever)-so what? Divorce is divorce is divorce no matter who the couple is. As far as your atty-I would be surprised to find one that will represent you both. Its a conflict of interest and he will have to recuse himself sooner than later from one or the other of you the court will mandate it Thats fees and time wasted. Have I mentioned Ive been here before-more than once? Anyway the bottom line is once S goes from Mr Amicable divorce to WTF-mark my words HE WILL GF…HE WILL-you will be stuck on a shared lease, and shared whatever else that requires more legal fees to undo and fighting in court over all the things he promised to provide for you when he was still Mr Amicable divorce. Damn I know this freakin ugly road. I dont envy you. Im always a p/c away for you. I love you GF.

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