Sloow Changes & Constant Wondering


Yesterday I didn’t post. I was tired of talking about it. Writing about it. Thinking about it. But, I DID think about it. I will always think about it..This whole life change and how I got back where I started through no fault of my own. A woman doesn’t dream of starting single, getting married for a short time, and then becoming single again for some unknown reason. It’s just unrealistic.

My days start to early. Even without the dog, I don’t sleep as long as I would like I’m hoping that will change eventually. I start my day with unpacking at least one box. Eventually, I will get this place completely done.

I did the laundry yesterday and mumbled to myself about how much I hated apartment living. It took like half hour to figure it out. You have to buy a card from a machine but when you buy the card, it has no money on it. (as the manager pointed out..”like a gambling card”) then, you have to use your credit/debit card to put money on the laundry card in order to do your laundry. Then, the laundry machine is weird and it said I had a Bad Card because you have to keep the card in the slot for so long until it actually starts working. Totally annoying. Plus, I am washing colors and whites together now. May as well. As long as I’ve pre-washed new things (which I think I will do in the sink when I get them) they won’t run and probably won’t shrink. Why waste extra money on what isn’t even a full load?

The garage sale is next week and since HE is gone this wknd; I am going to the house to organize and probably price stuff for it. HE wanted to know what day so he could ask his uncle not to come. I wouldn’t let him do that. I know why. It’s because he is probably paying his uncle extra to walk the dog during the day. I felt bad but it is his dog and he needs to take the responsibility for him. I am not going over there to walk the dog. I am going over there to work on yard sale stuff. Plus, I don’t know if I am going over there today or tomorrow so I am not going to post it here. Yes, it is very hard sometimes to play the part of Bitch, I must admit.

Since it hasn’t been long. My feelings switch. One minute I cry, One minute I’m pissed and one minute I am completely blank and in shock. Sometimes I wonder how he feels when he is alone with Petey in our old house full of memories. I wonder if he regrets his decision in any way? I wonder if he misses me at all or only the things I used to do for him. I wonder what happened to the love we once had.

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1 Comment

  1. hello dear friend, in the morning when you awake, tell yourself that
    THIS IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE, and do just 1
    thing different, just for you, maybe something you have never done
    before. I know, easy to say, hard to do, but try. You are a lovely
    person, and have a lot of happiness and love to give some deserving
    person, don’t sell yourself short.

    You mentioned a prolapsed uterus, I had that as well, years ago, but
    i also had cancer, (advanced) and ready to enter the 3rd. stage
    which would have been the end for me, but it was not my time to go,
    and I am still here. I want to tell you this, after surgery sex will be so
    different, buy a new g-string, shave that twat and go for it. do a
    little lap dance and you will be surprised. just kidding, but it can be
    quite an esperience,and some lucky guy will flip his lid. ha ha You are a very attractive woman and could do it .

    gotta go for now, thinking of you
    let me hear from you
    de


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