Funny Memory & Reality

Someone made a comment with the word ‘Twat’ which made me think of something totally off topic to the situation at-hand. It’s good to get your mind off things once in a while. Here’s a true story about a teacher who was also a Priest in Catholic School or CCD which was part of Catholic Education while growing up. This Priest was really cute and he was teaching us about words. We were in Jr. High and he asked us for swear words to write on the Chalk-Board. At first, the room was dead silent. And, he said, “Don’t worry, God isn’t going to strike you down.” so, I said it really softly; the first one brave enough to say something as I slunk into my seat. “Twat.” Everybody cracked up. Father Tom (don’t remember his real name) said, “Come on, you can do better then that.” and wrote my word and like the S word on the Chalk-Board, then we started rolling. After the Chalk-Board was full of words, he started to go over the true definitions. This is a woman’s body part, this comes from the body of a dog, etc. When you insult someone, you are really not doing anything. In this way, knowing what the words you are using really mean is taking away the power. It was one of the most informative and fun CCD classes I attended.

    Back To Reality:

I was at the house yesterday for hours moving things from inside the house to the garage. HE never believes we have anything for a garage sale, but this time, we do. I think I may text him about putting the ad in the local paper so I can mention the Coca-Cola Collectibles and maybe get some collectors there. I wound up feeding the dog and the poor dog freaked out when I tried to leave. Actually, at first I had only been there for a little while and was going to my car and he started yelping. I had to let him come with me. When I actually left, I gave him a treat first. But, he still started barking at being left alone. I am going back today to do some more..hopefully actually organizing and maybe pricing of things.

My Living Room is almost unpacked and the bedroom is done. I may finish the last two Living Room boxes this morning. Then all I will have left is the bath. I have the empty boxes folded up and stacked since I will be moving again in 9 months and it is a total hassle to find and have to buy boxes again.

I really do not feel like this is home (Well, it’s only been 15 days!) and the house is not home anymore so I sort of feel as if I am homeless now. Plus, with my husband saying he doesn’t love me anymore or..he loves me but isn’t in love with me…Whatever. It’s just depressing to feel unloved and practically homeless. Just because you have a roof over your head does not make a place home.

I still want to wake up to what my life was once. Back in my big bed with my cat AND dog, my husband whom I thought loved me can be in the next room..that’s okay. But, we can be okay again. And, this can all be one Big-Ass Nightmare..never to have happened. He would laugh and think I was crazy, or he would say I’m taking way to much medication and should probably talk to a doctor and change that, or he would think I was losing my mind and need to get a hobby. But, it would be normal and I would make his lunch for work and make his dinner once in a while. Heck, I’d even make him a couple Egg Sandwiches which I know he loves and I hate to make and would wear a mask while I made them because I hate the smell.

Don’t worry, I haven’t flipped. I know the difference between reality and dreams. I’m getting it. I Hate It but it’s setting in. There is no one to “take care” of me, but me. It’s what HE wanted. HE also said at one time HE wanted me to be happy, but HE can’t have it both ways. I think in order for one to be happy, the other has to be miserable unless something is decided together.

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Christians and Going To Church

As most of you know by now, I am a Christian, yet, I do not go to church.  To clarify, I do not go to an actual building on Sunday (Mosque, Church, Temple, Chapel or otherwise) to sit in a pew or chair next to people who may cough, sneeze, talk to or in any other way distract me during a service.  I also don’t have to listen to the singing and/or many other things that are involved in the service that do not come directly from the Bible if I do not desire.  I do church on television or via the internet.  Which means, I can fast forward the singing and get to the Sermon from the Pastor which is the main thing I want to hear.  I tune in for God’s word.  I can hear a different Pastor each week..at least from about 10 or so and some are not even around here.  Christmas does not have to be the actual Christmas story.  I can choose a title with a topic that may really help me during the week.

Let me give you some back-up as to how I got here.  I’ve posted a bit of this before so I’ll try to condense this.

I was raised in the Catholic Church and made to go to church every, single Sunday.  I never did believe in Purgatory, (the word is not mentioned in the Bible..and Yes, I have read the entire Bible..it took me 3 years!) and I always believed the Priest changing the water and wine into God’s body and blood was a reminder of the Last Supper…not that he was actually doing it every week, I also could never understand why we used the collection money for things like air conditioning and new seats for the church when we could be sending it to people who really needed it.  (I do think the Catholics picked a really good Pope in that way now, but I digress)   I was raised in the Youth Group and followed all the rules.  I was Miss Goody Two Shoes and totally believed in holding out sex before marriage.  I had a massive crush on the popular guy (as did most girls) and was shocked when his girlfriend became pregnant by him.  I thought for sure everybody would shun her or at least treat her differently and treat me better..but instead, they threw her a baby shower and the two got married and had a baby.  That may be when my sex before marriage view changed, I’m not sure.

After a few years of seeking a different church, I joined the Baptist Church.  This worked quite well for a while until the Pastor started up with the every Sunday thing in order to be a good church member.  I had been on the Women’s Group but that had ended and when I offered to re-start it, they said no because you had to attend every service.  They had two services on Sundays.  I do not wish to be forced to go anywhere.  That is ridiculous.  Then, he started begging and guilting people into giving money and going on and on about how you should want to give to God from your heart.  I’ve never believed in Tithing.  I’m sorry.  God isn’t getting my money.  The church is.  A group of people who decide what they want to use my money for that I have given them.  In essence, I am paying so they can preach God’s word to me as they interpret it.  I have Bible for that!  The last reason the 2nd church didn’t work out is because I started to check out a few other churches and confided in a few people a head of time, (not the Pastor) and a “friend” actually went and told the Pastor, so I was told I could no longer help in the church office (folding flyers) if I was considering leaving the church.  What?  I hadn’t said anything to the Pastor because my decision hadn’t been made but at that moment, I guess it was made for me so I was gone.

The last church I attended was also Baptist.  Thee people have views that are at the point of being ridiculous.  The Pastor and I almost got into it at Halloween because he believes putting up Halloween decorations of witches, ghosts, etc. is asking evil spirits to invade your world and you should always live as a Christian and be ready for Christ.  He got annoyed that I didn’t bow down and say, “Oh, your right, I’m so sorry.”  Uh..Nope.  Not my belief.  Then, everybody sort of started treating me differently after that and the air was just weird.  Plus, they would talk behind the back of other members and say, “I heard so and so said this and I think so and so may have been a druggie anyway.”  Who knows what they are saying now that I’m gone.

 

Anyway, when I explain that I do church on the internet or television, I get tired of hearing the response, “You should really find a church family.”  Why?  I just told you my reasons for not going?  Everybody is different.  God is working in me in his own way and we have our own relationship.  I don’t need your drama of seeing you on Sunday and then not talking to you during the week.  I had a friend that swore all the time and treated her family like crap, but she was the “Perfect Christian” because she went to church every Sunday.  Guess what?  I found out, she is divorced now.  She as a devout Catholic.

Before you quote the commandment:  I am well aware:  It is:  Keep Holy The Sabbath Day. 

A Christian means “Follower of Christ” and as a Follower of Christ; I do not need to go to church.

 

 

 

Unfair Bells and the End Of The World

I just read in the news that the bells are going to ring 26 times for the victims of the Connecticut shooting.  Not 27.  They are not counting Nancy Lanza, the mother of the shooter as a victim as part of the bell ringing.  People have mixed feelings about her because she had the guns in the house which were used to shoot the children and she taught Adam how to use them.    Okay, wait,  This isn’t fair, in my opinion.  She did not tell Adam to shoot anyone and she sure as heck did not ask  or tell Adam to shoot her in the face while she was sleeping.  Nancy Lanza was just as much a victim in this case as anyone else.

I understand some parents have hard feelings and don’t want her funeral service or name near that of their children who perished; but not even to have a bell ring in her memory?  Is that even the Christian thing to do!  Someone made a comment to that article that churches are being hypocritical in participating with only 26 rings of the bell and I agree.  Are churches not to support and encompass all without prejudice?  Just as God’s love encompasses all.  I won’t get into preaching or my beliefs or even my feelings on Adam Lanza.  However:  This is my opinion when it comes to the victims.  In my head and in my prayers, there will  be a special bell ringing for Nancy Lanza at 9:30 a.m. today.

Also, Let’s get into the topic of the end of the world, shall we?  Seriously, do you really think today is the end?  Good grief, how many times have we been through this?  That dorky pastor guy kept telling us it was the end and people stockpiled food and gave all their money away and we are still here.  Now you are worried because some group made a calendar and ran out of room or something?  As a Christian, I believe the Lord is not telling us when he is coming back and that is the end of the world.  It isn’t when some calendar runs out or some Yahoo makes up a date.  Plus, if the end of the world were today, why are people still Christmas shopping and cleaning their houses and living life normally?  Wouldn’t people be having orgies, or cheating on each other, or in church praying, or doing drugs, or going skydiving or, I don’t know doing whatever it is you’ve alway’s dreamed of doing on your last day on earth?  Seriously?      

What R U Gonna Be?

So, Halloween is approaching and if you’ve been reading my blog for a while you would know that is my least favorite holiday.  You would also know I stopped attending the last church I went to because of a discussion about Halloween I had with the Pastor because they all believe Satan is going to jump out of the Halloween decorations and it is just asking him to come into your life by decorating your yard evil.  Good Gravy.  I’m a Believer in God and I think believing the way they do is total overkill.  I believe even God understands it’s all in good fun.  It’s how you live your life that matters, not having fun for a day.  It’s not like I am selling or doing drugs or illegal activities on that one day of the year and I am not even pretending to worship Satan by dressing up to be a Zombie, Ghoul, etc.

That is the one aspect I do enjoy at Halloween.  The dressing up and being in costume part.  I actually play the part of whatever character I’m dressed as when I go out karaokying.  When I was in elementary school, I dressed as a Milk Carton once and when we went door to door, I sang the “Time For Milk Commercial” song (first sentence anyway”) and my friend who was dressed as a Sorceress (I think) tapped the box with her wand.  We got a lot of candy tha year, if I remember correctly.

My best adult costumes have been The Grim Reaper, a ghoul eating an arm, Carrie, a Valley Girl and Octomom.  I made the Octomom costume myself and I actually carried all 14 children.  “Well, I couldn’t find a Baby Sitter!”  I learned something about my husband on that one.  I learned he absolutely HATES Nadia and he made me promise Never to do that costume again.  He is going to Knott’s this week and I told him to call me so I can watch him live on the internet when he goes into the maze, ‘End Games.’. ..but I digress:

Pregnant Nun

As you can see, I’ve also been a Pregnant Nun.  I don’t know why my baby turned out blue.

I don’t believe in dressing sexy for Halloween though and I think there are way to many ‘sexy” costumes out there.  You are just asking for trouble when you do that.  Just my  opinion.

So, do you dress up?  What was/is your best costume?  Ever won a prize?  I did once.  I won a mug set at a Costume Contest at a bar.  I’ve really been hoping for some money, though.

I would love to hear what you’ve been over the years and what you are planning to be this year.

I will do my usual and dress up as a Ghoul and sit out on the porch scaring the children while passing the candy.  If I do go out karaokying (doubtful), I am going as Ugly Betty this year.  That was an easy one for “just in case.”

Thanks For Sharing

I just went through everyone’s Blogroll of whom I am reading and became a Follower of those I am interested.  This is how you find more interesting Blogs. 

Today I woke up with a horrible Sinus Band Headache around my head.  Luckily, Maxalt takes care of Sinus and Migraine Headaches.  I am still a bit cold and Sinusy and it’s a horribly, icky, rainy day so I may just stay home and stay warm and do internet church so as to avoid getting sick.

I have a physical coming up on the 29th however I need to e-mail my doctor sooner because I have had Hemorrhoids now for about 3 months straight.  I seriously didn’t think that possible.  I’ve read the directions and don’t want to overuse the medications.  There’s got to be a daily pill or something to help this.  

 

 

Debate Over Halloween Decorations

I almost had a debate with my Pastor at church on Sunday but it didn’t really turn into a debate because pastor’s at churches think they are alway’s right and they use Scripture Verses to back up their viewpoint of whatever it is they want you to believe plus, when they stop trying to convince you of their thinking (because it wasn’t working) the rest of the church participants sneak something in during the nights topic of “What’s Your favorite Verse and Why?”

  The topic in question is Halloween and should you participate?  I decorate my house for Halloween with Ghoul’s and a Graveyard.  I was telling Pastor and the others that my neighbor believes that decorating my yard like that is just opening the door to Satan which I think is going overboard.  I did not expect my church members to agree with her.  Pastor went on and on about as Christians we are supposed to glorify God every day 24/7.  He tried to compare the symbol of the Cross to a decoration of a Ghoul as if I am seriously symbolizing it.  When I mentioned it as being only in fun..Pastor compared it to people doing drugs or committing suicide or weird stuff like that being fun and going along with it. 

 This is the new church I am attending and they are a bit more extreme than the one I last attended.  Good thing I did not tell them I dress up as a Ghoul and scare the children. 

 I am strong in my Faith and I know God is with me. . .  It is what you believe on the inside and in your heart and how you show your love to others that matters.  One night/wknd of the year scaring people in a costume is not going to change things overall.

Wknd and Health

Saturday was a good day.  The sun was shining.  I got the house decorated inside for Halloween and bought a new Ghoul for the outside graveyard and we went to Spaghetti Factory, my favorite restaurant.

Then, Sunday showed up.  Went to the Swap-Meet and fell over one of those cement parking space markers.  Messed up my knee a little.  It’s only surface but still hurts a bit.  Luckily, it didn’t swell.  At church, one of the guys had a seizure.  He suddenly grabbed his head before his whole body shook and he went down.  I just received an e-mail saying he is doing better but he doesn’t remember anything other than singing at church than waking up in the hospital.  Scary.

I saw my Neurologist yesterday who said I am doing okay as far as my headaches are concerned.  As he said, I know my headaches better than he does.  In truth, I’m sure he would prefer I take the medicine the way he wants me to however, he would have me skip the Tylenol and Head-On entirely and go straight to the Maxalt, and Imatrex.  I would probably get addicted that way and most of the time Tylenol will cut the pain before the headache turns into a full-fledged Migraine.

I still have those weird leg pains at night (although not every night) and last night every muscle in my body ached.   Then, this morning I felt weird like my whole right arm hurt and since I’ve read about RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) and the possibility that it can lead to Heart Attacks and Strokes and I had just seen what had happened to George at church, I started freaking out a bit.  But, that’s a bit silly.  From what I read my symptoms don’t even seem to match RLS.  I have a Physical set in November so if  it  is still happening I will talk to the Dr. about it then.

We are running low on Low-Protein Food so I just ordered a little over $80.00 from Cambrooke, a low-protein food company and despite the argument on the phone with the insurance company, after sending the paperwork in, the company called and said the insurance company will cover 50% of the cost as of the next order.  I had to order this one first though; as it gets tough once you meet your protein quota and still need a snack with calories.

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