Our Freedom-My Freedom

Happy 4th of July. Today marks a celebration of Freedom. A different type of Freedom.

Not the type of freedom I am experiencing in my life. Not the freedom of being alone unwillingly, thrust upon me, unexpectedly, suddenly. Oh yes, my fur-children are here, but other than that, I am alone.

Alone to remember the words HE said to me:

“I will never leave you.”, “I will not abandon you.”, “I am not like the others.”, “I would never and have never cheated on you.” “I have always been honest with you.”, “Trust me.”
“I love You.”

At our wedding reception, I sang his favorite song to him: ‘I Honestly Love You’ by Olivia Newton John. Now, here are songs I would like to sing. Forgive me, if I don’t know the titles, I will write some of the song lines,

“Don’t Go Breakin My Heart”, “You’ve Abandoned Me, Love Don’t Live Here Anymore,” “All Cried Out”, “Who Are You?” “Please, Don’t Leave Me This Way?” “It’s A Heartache”. and many more along that line.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, we have the anger songs. I am so, so angry and hurt at what he has done to me. So, I get through on songs like these:
“If Looks Could Kill”, “Used To Love Her”, Bitch”, “You Oughta Know”, “Jamie’s Got A Gun”, “Your Fu_ _n Crazy”, “Love Stinks”.

and one of my personal favorites,

    “The Bitch Is Back.”

Unfortunately, there are less songs of this nature then the others above.

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Watching A Hunger Show While Eating- So Wrong

Yesterday, I was watching a ‘Feed The Children.’ program and I got hungry, so I took a break and made dinner and ate it while watching the rest of the show. This seems like a sin. These shows are showing starving people in other countries but its talking about food, so it made me hungry. Plus, it showed rice. Seriously wrong, I know.

I wonder if I hadn’t been born sickly and if I didn’t have all these health issues..just what I might have been in the long run? I’ve always wondered if I could have been one of those people who worked and lived in one of those countries or in a Mission somewhere serving people in need. I could see myself living with or near the homeless and destitute, and offering food and clothing and hope.

Sometimes, I wonder what my purpose really is.

Today is Mother’s Day, My Mother-In-Law’s Birthday, and our 12th Anniversary!

My mother has been deceased for the last 3 years, and I think I’ve decided to pretty much stay away from the Facebook posts about Mother’s Day and the WordPress ones also. I called my Mother-In-Law and wished her a Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day, and as for my Anniversary; this is the first one a part.

Mother’s Day For Child-Free, but, Animal Mother’s.

As an animal mother only, Mother’s Day is not celebrated for people like me. It doesn’t seem quite fair. We may not have given birth to a cat, dog, horse, hamster, rabbit, snake, etc. however, we may have saved it’s life from a shelter or no matter how we attained the animal; we are still raising them. I am talking about the women who take the time to take their animals to the vet and keep their shots updated, the ones who clean up after the animals when they barf all over the house, the ones who walk the dogs as often as needed or pick up the yard because if we didn’t, it would be overrun which wouldn’t be good for the animal or the neighborhood. Animals give us unconditional love and some of us only have animal-children, therefor, don’t you think we, also, should be celebrated on Mother’s Day?

I bought myself a Mother’s Day gift this year. I bought myself an Obama Countdown Clock. A funny, practical gift that I usually would not think to get however, even having put it on my Amazon WishList; I just had a feeling, nobody would get it. (This post is not turning into a political post. That is not the topic today so please don’t go there.)

Also, onto the subject of gifts, remember I said I am a giver? Well, I don’t know why but I don’t think you will find anyone else like me around. If you are sick, I will probably send you something. If your animal dies, you may receive a present to cheer you up. I don’t usually forget Birthdays or Christmas either. I don’t know why it is. I think it may be to make up for the fact that I am sick so often and don’t see people, plus, I just love to give and if I can afford it; Why not? It doesn’t hurt anyone and I just imagine the look on the faces of my friends and relatives when those boxes arrive in the mail.

Valentines Day Amusement

Valentine’s Day has passed and I must tell you what happened.  My husband came home the night before and  said, “Oh, I got you a card’ and tossed it on the table.  We have discussed before that we don’t really do cards, but whatever.  I had put my whole 5 decorations up in the kitchen and we are going to dinner tonight; but we always go to dinner on week-ends.so…Anyway; I digress.. I said, “Since you so unceremoniously threw the card on the table I will open it now and just sit it around to enjoy for Valentines Day.”  I opened the card and was shocked to discover a PINK rose with a PINK border and some verse about being special.  WTH?  I looked at him.  This was weird.  I was like, “Why did you get me a card with a pink flower on it?  You know I hate PINK and I’m not into flowers.  Couldn’t you have got me a funny card?” and he goes.. “I put a lot of thought into that card.”  Then he looked at me and said, ….WAIT FOR IT…….”Actually R. got the card because he was going to get his wife a Valentines Day card and asked if he wanted me to have him pick one up for you?”  I cracked up.  I told my husband to tell R. he bombed on the card.  R. doesn’t know me at all.  I told S. I want a card if it is a funny card.  That verse didn’t even sound like it came from him.  I still put it on the bottom shelf..but sheesh.  S. isn’t in some high paying position and R. isn’t his personal secretary getting his wife gifts and cards for occasions.

After that, I wrote a list of things S. can get me if he ever wants to surprise me for occasions.  After all, I’ll be turning 50 in two years anyway, if I actually make it to that age.  I e-mailed the list to him and he liked the idea.

So, despite my last Valentine’ Day post, my day did turn out amusing after all..

My Valentine’s Day Post

Well, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.  That sappy, syrupy day when you are supposed to be all romantic and dreamy-eyed. Gag Me!  My husband and I are not that way.  Never have been, never will be.  He actually asked me the other day, “When is Valentine’s Day and am I supposed to do something for you?”  I didn’t remember if it was the 12th or the 14th.  I had to look at the calendar.  I’m like, “We don’ tdo that stuff.  I’ll decorate the house with my 5 decorations and we can order pizza or whatever.”  Seriously.

I don’t do candy.  I’m lactose intolerant plus, who needs a box of crap, I mean chocolate.  I love white chocolate but even a box of that would be to much.

We don’t do flowers.  My cat eats them.  She even eats fake flowers.  The last time someone gave me flowers I tried putting them on top of the refrigerator and she got up there and kncoked them down.  I was lucky the vase didn’t shatter.

A stuffed animal?  Nice but not practical, plus, I would have to pick it out and my real animals would probably chew on it if it was too small.  Or, my stuffed bears (I have one I’ve had since I was 16) would get jealous so I really don’t need another bear.

Anything PINK is definitely OUT.  I HATE that color.  I barely allow it in the house.  My niece got offended when I was kidding and told her I wouldn’t let her in the house because her hair was pink.  I can’t believe people color their hair pink…but I digress.  Anyway, I’ve told friends and family, if they ever get me anything pink, be prepared to be hit with it.  I don’t wear it, own it, want it, you get the idea.  I also don’t like lace or any other frilly things or words such as sweet or cute.

Yes people, I am still a girl but definitely not your girly girl. Blah.

So, I wanted to watch Charlie Brown for Valentines Day with my husband.  That’s all I wanted.  Guess what?  We missed it!  Why the heck do they play it on t.v. the wknd before?  Who does that?  Why don’t you play it on Valentines Day or the day before?  It’s on ABC, for crying out loud!  So, I guess I’ll be watching it alone on the internet and then, we may go for a drive or just watch a movie and have pizza.  Maybe a horror movie, definitely, not some sappy one.

For you that enjoy the holiday, Happy Valentines Day!

Men = Football,Woman = Shopping

I just returned from my favorite thrift store titled Grateful Hearts in Los Alamitos, CA.  I actually need to check out their other store titled, The Feed Store which is located in Long Beach, CA. because I’ve heard they have more vintage clothing and I haven’t been there yet.  But, anyway, Grateful Hearts is having a  75% off sale today in order to re-stock and I can’t believe I spent less than $5.00 on two shirts (one for me and one for my husband), a Birthday Present for my husbands’ Niece, and a small item for the OCC box I am working on.  I have also already ordered a few items for Christmas and/or B-Days for later in the year.  I know it is only January but I am an all-year shopper and I need to start early in order to not go broke in December.

My husband went to watch football and eat dinner somewhere.  I wish he had taken a pic of my face when he invited me and said “it would be fun”.  No, I don’t think so.  I’ve entertained the idea of doing some of the same things he likes to do but going somewhere where guys get all excited when other guys knock each other down for a ball is not my idea of fun.  Plus, the yelling just increases my headaches.  No thank-you.  I told him, it would be like inviting him to a musical which I might find “fun.”  I know he wouldn’t  find that fun at all.

To Regift or Not To Regift=The Question

I read an article not to long ago (not sure if it was true) where someone gave a gift to someone else and said, “I hope you like it.” and the recipient said, “Oh, I do, I gave it to you two years ago.”  Oops.

Which brings me to today’s topic of Re-gifting:  What do you think about it?  Have you got it mastered or do you think it tacky?

My mother taught me the art of re-gifting.  Actually, she had a closet of extra gifts that she had received and if I ever needed an emergency gift for a work gift exchange or whatever, I would go to her house and find something from that closet.  Now, I keep  a list of everything I give and get for/from everybody throughout the year.  I do this so I don’t get them the same thing the next year for their B-Day and Christmas and I also have the list for Thank-You notes.

As for re-gifting, I keep a post-it or sticky note with the name of who gave the  item attached, until I decide who it is going to next, and I make sure whoever it goes to is not in the same circle as the one it was received from.  Last year my neighbor gave me a candle in the shape of a Christmas present.  While nice, it just isn’t me, but my husbands’ Aunt loves candles, so I re-gifted it and gave it to her this year for Christmas.  Should my husbands’ Aunt ever visit, it is not like she is going to bring the candle here or mention it loudly in front of my neighbor, so I am safe.  Most other re-gifting usually goes to strangers in need; but some can work between friends and family or even friends and friends as long as they don’t come in contact with each other..

Resolutions, Giving & Faithful Followers

Happy New Year!  My Resolution is:  Not To Make One.  I gave up on that years ago.  I have ADD.  I can barely concentrate enough to keep up with housework.  I shocked myself by completing a novel in Nanowrimo, but I still haven’t finished editing it or done anything more.  Anyway, if you resolve something, I wish you luck.

I want to talk about giving for a minute and obligations or feeling obligated.  When it comes to the holidays do you really feel obligated to give when you have received something or how about obligated to give..peried?  I believe that is so wrong and takes out the entire meaning of the Holiday.  Shouldn’t the spirit of giving come from your heart and shouldn’t the reception just be thank-you?  Here’s an example:  I gave my neighbor a small Christmas gift.  I know she likes Nativities and I found a small Nativity statue thing.  I snuck it over there on the 23rd so she would not have time to run to the store and buy me something, because I know they are having financial issues.  She called me up after Christmas and left me a msg thanking me and saying she would bring something over later.  I called her in the morning and we had a long talk.  She told me she didn’t like receiving presents and not giving back so she was making cookies for people and would bring over fresh cookies.  Okay, that’s cool.  My husband loves fresh, baked, cookies.  My neighbor said someone from her church did the same thing.

But it really makes me think about people and giving and receiving.  I think this is one reason a few of my relatives cut me  off a while ago from giving them presents at Christmas.  They did not want to have to buy for me.  But you know what?  They don’t.  I don’t do this for a gift back.  I guess I don’t think about giving and receiving the same as other people do.

Before I end this one, I want to thank my Faithful Blog Followers!  What fun stats from the last entry!  I do hope I keep you interested.  I know my topics have gotten a bit more serious lately, but it’s my real life.  As things quiet down, perhaps more humor and memories will evolve again.

Not Partying, Yes Decorating

Well, it’s been decided and I’ve decided not to attend the party this year for a few reasons:  I said the reason was because my husband made me a better offer which is technically true, although we decided to go gambling on a different day and on Saturday to decorate for Christmas and to go to dinner.  My actual B-Day is on Friday but Friday may be really crowded so we may go to dinner on Sat instead.  I haven’t decided when or where yet, plus, just spending time with my husband is probably better for our relationship at present

The 2nd reason is;  I don’t drink anymore which I think I’ve already mentioned and most everyone else at the party does so it gets weird to watch everyone get drunk and act stupid, plus the fact that they all get into this weird sexy stuff that I am just not into..like last year someone was carrying around a naked blow-up doll which I found disturbing.  Call me a Prude, that way.  This year, they are having a raffle.  Some of the things discussed up for the raffle were questionable. And add to that the fact I can’t eat anything since I am gluten-intolerant so I would have to eat before I go and graze on veggie’s only if they had any.

3rdly is the fact that I am still healing from surgery.  I like to think I am healed but the tape is off now and the stitches are starting to itch as they heal plus, it is pressure in the area and hard to start when I go, so it isn’t like dancing would be good for me; and last year one of the restrooms were out-of-order and one of the girls had to guard the door when I went in.  With how long I take now, I would hate for that to have to happen again.

In other news, I love to theme decorate and as soon as I get the energy and the time, I am going to start indoor decorating.  I decorate my house with Snowman.  I have a few other things scattered here and there that have sentimental value like an Elf my neighbor made (the neighbor passed awynot long ago) and a few things from when I used to sell Christmas Around The World. but otherwise, it is Snowman all the way.  Oh yes, and of course Animal Christmas stuff.  I cannot forget Cat and Dog Christmas.

Do you theme decorate or is it just basically Christmas as your theme or Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate?  Have you already started/finished decorating?  Are you in the mood?

Writing Wknd & Witnessing Twilight LIne

I have 9 days to complete my novel for Nano and I’ve just done the math.  I need to write 1870 words a day.  I wrote 1869 today so I  know I can do this.  I have never written this much in my life in succession like this; and I don’t want to get Carpal Tunnel or something as my wrist is getting sore.

I also have quite a bit to do this week before the surgery on the 27th.

It’s a good thing my husband and I are not really into the whole Thanksgiving thing.  We like to eat but I am Gluten-Intolerant and my husband is happy enough with take-out.  Plus, we are not into tons of family..  It is mainly his family anyway as most of mine don’t live nearby.  His aren’t really nearby either.  It actually takes about 5 hours to visit them.

The wknd has been quiet with lots of writing accomplished and on Friday, we drove by the local theatre to see the line for Twilight.  It was insane.  I can’t imagine myself waiting in a line for a movie.  It’s a movie!  The celebrities aren’t even there, plus, it’s not the old stage play movie like, Rocky Horror where people actually acted out the scenes and you got to throw popcorn, etc.

It just amazed me all the “Twi-Hards” as they called them in the paper, camping out by the theatre.

Would you spend the night waiting for a movie?  Just curious.