Funny Memory & Reality

Someone made a comment with the word ‘Twat’ which made me think of something totally off topic to the situation at-hand. It’s good to get your mind off things once in a while. Here’s a true story about a teacher who was also a Priest in Catholic School or CCD which was part of Catholic Education while growing up. This Priest was really cute and he was teaching us about words. We were in Jr. High and he asked us for swear words to write on the Chalk-Board. At first, the room was dead silent. And, he said, “Don’t worry, God isn’t going to strike you down.” so, I said it really softly; the first one brave enough to say something as I slunk into my seat. “Twat.” Everybody cracked up. Father Tom (don’t remember his real name) said, “Come on, you can do better then that.” and wrote my word and like the S word on the Chalk-Board, then we started rolling. After the Chalk-Board was full of words, he started to go over the true definitions. This is a woman’s body part, this comes from the body of a dog, etc. When you insult someone, you are really not doing anything. In this way, knowing what the words you are using really mean is taking away the power. It was one of the most informative and fun CCD classes I attended.

    Back To Reality:

I was at the house yesterday for hours moving things from inside the house to the garage. HE never believes we have anything for a garage sale, but this time, we do. I think I may text him about putting the ad in the local paper so I can mention the Coca-Cola Collectibles and maybe get some collectors there. I wound up feeding the dog and the poor dog freaked out when I tried to leave. Actually, at first I had only been there for a little while and was going to my car and he started yelping. I had to let him come with me. When I actually left, I gave him a treat first. But, he still started barking at being left alone. I am going back today to do some more..hopefully actually organizing and maybe pricing of things.

My Living Room is almost unpacked and the bedroom is done. I may finish the last two Living Room boxes this morning. Then all I will have left is the bath. I have the empty boxes folded up and stacked since I will be moving again in 9 months and it is a total hassle to find and have to buy boxes again.

I really do not feel like this is home (Well, it’s only been 15 days!) and the house is not home anymore so I sort of feel as if I am homeless now. Plus, with my husband saying he doesn’t love me anymore or..he loves me but isn’t in love with me…Whatever. It’s just depressing to feel unloved and practically homeless. Just because you have a roof over your head does not make a place home.

I still want to wake up to what my life was once. Back in my big bed with my cat AND dog, my husband whom I thought loved me can be in the next room..that’s okay. But, we can be okay again. And, this can all be one Big-Ass Nightmare..never to have happened. He would laugh and think I was crazy, or he would say I’m taking way to much medication and should probably talk to a doctor and change that, or he would think I was losing my mind and need to get a hobby. But, it would be normal and I would make his lunch for work and make his dinner once in a while. Heck, I’d even make him a couple Egg Sandwiches which I know he loves and I hate to make and would wear a mask while I made them because I hate the smell.

Don’t worry, I haven’t flipped. I know the difference between reality and dreams. I’m getting it. I Hate It but it’s setting in. There is no one to “take care” of me, but me. It’s what HE wanted. HE also said at one time HE wanted me to be happy, but HE can’t have it both ways. I think in order for one to be happy, the other has to be miserable unless something is decided together.

Advertisements

Side Effects and Death?

So, it’s the 8th day of being sick and even on the 7th day God rested. Give me a Break!

The Levofloxacin has weird side effects.    Did you ever notice if you read the side effects on the bottles of whatever prescriptions the doctors give you, you seriously think you probably shouldn’t take them?  Oh my gosh, this one actually said, possible joint pain, chest problems, heart problems, death.  Yep, it said..death can occur.  I think that was only with overdose but still…  your feeling sick to die when you get the stuff and now I have to worry about death with something that is supposed to help me?  Really?  I don’t think I read Mouth Sores in that long list of side effects but now I’ve got those.  Like, popping fever blisters in my mouth.  Okay, maybe it just feels like they are popping.  No, wonder I am still coughing a bit.  I am also waiting on the chest x-ray results.

So, please forgive me for not feeling like writing a funny, true story at present.  I’ve hardly talked anyone and nothing is being done around the house.

One thing though…when I start to feel like crap and I start to say the words, “I’m going to or I want to die.”  I correct myself and say, “No I’m not.” because:

There is alway’s someone worse off then I.  (I give boxes to children of Operation Christmas Child, I give bags to the Homeless, some people are truly sick with terrible things,etc.)

plus;

God isn’t ready for me yet. (at least I hope not.)

Rejection of Giving

Here’s an idea.  If you don’t want help, Don’t be rude about it.  I just don’t understand people.

I drove by the park today and saw a homeless man sitting in the parking lot eating a Banana.  Yes, he was most definitely homeless with a bike and numerous bags and dirty clotes, etc.  Anyway, I drove in the lot and approached him with one of my Tote Bags filled with canned foods, soap, etc and offered it to him.  He actually said and I quote, “Take it away or I’ll throw it in the trash.”  When I asked him if he could tell me why he didn’t want it since it has food and I was only giving it to him because I care (I added lowly that God does too) he mumbled, then said again to “just take it”,  So, I said “Okay, but I tried.” and I took my bag  and drove away.

What weird feelings I have now.  First I thought, Fine..Let him starve, I don’t care.  Then, I thought.  Nooo, I can’t think like that.  Maybe I should pray for him.  But wait, he looks to be from another country..like an Arab.  Like a person who wanted to blow up the planes and buildings in 9/11.  Maybe he hates Americans.  Maybe he hates God.  Maybe he hates Charity or has Pride.  Maybe he hates Women.  I don’t think they think to highly of us in their country.

Whatever the case, I am not done helping those who are in need and are thankful to those of us who really care.

He Told Me To Leave It There

After taking the excess garage sale stuff to the Goodwill today, I drive to my local Carl’s Jr/Green Burrito and as I’m going through the drive-thru I see a woman in black sitting beside the building.  Something tells me she is homeless and needs help.  She does not look like a bag lady but it may be her airport type suitcase that is a foot or so away as she sits and drinks her coke or it may be the look in her eyes as she watches the car go through the drive-thru and meet my gaze, or maybe it’s also the red, electric type chair with the basket that may or may not be hers.  Anyway, I bring my tote bag from the back seat and move it to the front and I buy an extra Beef, Bean & Cheese Burrito as part of my lunch to give to her.

After driving around I park but alas, she is gone.  The bag is still the but she has disappeared.

So I wait a minute and say, “Now what,  Lord?”  I get the strongest urge to just put the tote bag next to the large, airport one.  She should figure it out since they are so close together.  So, that’s what I do and I just pray she discovered her gift..

Unwanted Advice

If someone has an idea or is doing something that you think is good, you are welcome to praise them and tell them you think it is good but I don’t suggest giving unwanted advice on what they are doing.  Example:

I make Tote Bags and pass them out to the Homeless on the street.  I put in the Tote Bags what I feel God is leading me  to put in as well as what I feel necessary or they would like..soap, combs, soups or canned beans, Granola bars, kleenex, toothbrush, etc.  I do this because I want to and I feel good about it.  I feel as if this is my ministry that God has called me to do.  I do not preach to anyone, however, I am having cards made that simply say “God Loves You.” which I am going to include.

Usually when I bring this up for whatever reason..because I am buying something from the store or someone see’s the Tote Bag in my car or I happen to ask someone if they see a Homeless Person on the street to let me know so I can stop to pass it out, they are fine about it; but I have also had people say things like, “Don’t give them Granola Bars because a lot of Homeless people don’t have good teeth.” (if this was someone I am close to; I don’t mean to offend you.)

Mind you, this was a spin-off from a church idea which is doing the same thing but with Shoe-Boxes, but that is not the point.  Since this is not with an organization; there is no specific list as to what is to be included in my Tote-Bags.

The point is back to the main sentence which is you are welcome to develop your own idea’s  Tote-Bags, Shoe-Boxes, etc. and add your own things while appreciating what others are doing.