Mother’s Day For Child-Free, but, Animal Mother’s.

As an animal mother only, Mother’s Day is not celebrated for people like me. It doesn’t seem quite fair. We may not have given birth to a cat, dog, horse, hamster, rabbit, snake, etc. however, we may have saved it’s life from a shelter or no matter how we attained the animal; we are still raising them. I am talking about the women who take the time to take their animals to the vet and keep their shots updated, the ones who clean up after the animals when they barf all over the house, the ones who walk the dogs as often as needed or pick up the yard because if we didn’t, it would be overrun which wouldn’t be good for the animal or the neighborhood. Animals give us unconditional love and some of us only have animal-children, therefor, don’t you think we, also, should be celebrated on Mother’s Day?

I bought myself a Mother’s Day gift this year. I bought myself an Obama Countdown Clock. A funny, practical gift that I usually would not think to get however, even having put it on my Amazon WishList; I just had a feeling, nobody would get it. (This post is not turning into a political post. That is not the topic today so please don’t go there.)

Also, onto the subject of gifts, remember I said I am a giver? Well, I don’t know why but I don’t think you will find anyone else like me around. If you are sick, I will probably send you something. If your animal dies, you may receive a present to cheer you up. I don’t usually forget Birthdays or Christmas either. I don’t know why it is. I think it may be to make up for the fact that I am sick so often and don’t see people, plus, I just love to give and if I can afford it; Why not? It doesn’t hurt anyone and I just imagine the look on the faces of my friends and relatives when those boxes arrive in the mail.

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Totally Vintage Jeans

Oh my gosh, My Jordache Jeans arrived and they fit fantastic!  I totally remember them.  It’s not just the brand but the fit.  The high waist.  I can rarely find them anymore.  I can’t stand the low waist jeans.  I also found Levi’s, Gitano, Ditto’s! 
 
Funny story about Ditto’s;
 
My mother bought everything on sale.  I was not really a name-brand person but I so wanted a pair of Ditto Jeans.  They were just cool and everyone was wearing them at school.  I begged mom for a pair of Ditto’s.  Finally, mom got me a pair of green, Ditto jeans.  You would have thought I’d received a Diamond Ring or a gold bar.  I word those jeans to school like I owned the place.  I told everybody,  “Yeah, I’m in.  I’ve got Ditto’s.  See, I dress fashionable.”  Then, it happened.  One of the well-dressed, popular snobs approached me and said, “Why are you wearing those?, Those went out of style last week.”  Needless to say I was devastated.  I was embarrassed.  I could have hidden in a hole.  I was so mad at my mother. 
I went home and told her I was never going to wear those jeans again.  My mother said, “Yes, you are.   I spent good money on those jeans and you are going to wear them.” So, I wore them at home or to church or to whatever social events; but not to school, because they were out of style due to mom waiting until they went on sale. 
 
But you know what?  Vintage is back now!  I’m an adult!  Brands don’t matter.  Comfort matters.  I loved the 80’s and still do.  Anything and everything is fair game.  For those that like to tease me (CelaineyGirl), Yes, I probably will be purchasing some Ditto’s soon.  I even like the 70’s clothes like The Brady Bunch.  Colored jeans and pants, why not?    
 
I say Be Yourself and take pride in your style.     
 

My Mindset Switch

When something truly upsets me and I need to change my mindset I found a way to flip a switch in my brain and do just that.

This is what happened with my feelings on the child issue.

I grew up playing with dolls.  I loved dolls.  I was even in a magazine ad with the doll, ‘Baby Tender Love’ and my parents bought me the doll after that.  Heck, I probably would have been a good mother.  I remember I used to visit my friends and one friend thought I was nuts when I would sit on the floor and play a game with her son.  Plus, I loved baby-sitting and not just for the money.  I took care of three Lithuanian children for three weeks straight one Summer and the younger ones barely spoke English.

I was born with a very, rare, metabolic disorder and my parents and doctors kept stressing the fact that they didn’t know if I would survive having children or if  the child would survive .  I wound up marrying a man who did not want children.  Before we got married, we had actually broken up for a few because he decided he didn’t want children and I hadn’t made a decision yet.  While, I really like children, I really did not have that pull on my heartstrings (like most women) where I had to have a child to complete me..but if God blessed me with a child, I would definitely accept it.  Anyway, my husband (to be at the time) and I got back together and he said he really hadn’t decided ether and he loved me and if he had a child; it would be with me.

Then:..I had a pregnancy scare.  It turned out it was a Thyroid Problem..That is also when we discovered I had Kidney Disease.  That is also how I discovered my husbands feelings for children really had not changed and he DID NOT Want them.  In my heart I actually knew this fact but I must admit I was a bit surprised by the reaction..I told him to Get A Vasectomy.

About 1-2 years ago, my doctor informed me that I probably could never have had children even if I wanted to due to my ovaries or something.  He told me this was probably known even while I was young.  Now, this is the part that not only stunned me but really hurt.  If doctors had known this when I was young, why was it not told to me then?  It may have changed the people I dated plus it completely changes your feelings to know that you could never have been a natural mother even had you wanted to..So:

I changed my mindset when it comes to children.  It hurts to know I could never have had any had I wanted to.  The best thing to do is to focus on something else.  Babies are okay, but toddlers can get annoying.  Parents need to parent them.  I don’t want to play or get close. (Yes, Relatives, I will.)  Others that have the same disease I do have had normal children without the disease; I’ll bet doctors are wrong. But I’ve flipped that mental switch and that’s how I handle that situation.

2nd Situation

My husband has a relative I was really close to.  I was like her daughter, I thought.  I was not real close to my family and I really grew to love this one person; I would visit her and spend time with her just like a daughter would.  Then, she moved and I was devastated.  I knew it would completely change our dynamic.  She moved to be with her other relatives.  At first when we would visit her, I would cry on the way home and tell my husband I wanted to move the two-three hours drive away.  However, he said we were never going to move there.  He got tired of hearing it.  So:  I flipped the switch, I changed my mindset.  I did not start treating her differently but in my mind, I let her go and realized she is his family.   A marriage may be Yours, Mine and Ours but the outside families will always be His and Hers.

I mainly make the main focus now on us which is just Me and Him.

How do you deal with some of your issues?  Do you have a mind control switch like me or do you think maybe I am just crazy?  No wait, Remember my name.

Stillstrange

 

 

Weddings and Moms

Tonight I want to talk about weddings.  Yes, my marriage is fine and No, I’m not doing it again.  It’s actually to discuss some things about the wedding ceremony and reception.

I’ve heard this discussed on a show on T.V. and I’ve lived it personally, I’ve also found out recently that my sister did the same thing I did.  I’m talking about The Wedding Dress.  Please don’t choose a wedding dress to please someone else.  Unless, it’s a money issue; if you don’t get the wedding dress you absolutely fall in love with and know is right for you..you will regret it forever.  A wedding is supposed to only happen once in your life (we won’t even go there) and if I’m correct, the 2nd wedding is usually much different from the first; so your favorite wedding dress won’t be in style anymore or definitely won’t fit the occasion with a different/new spouse. (I have to say Spouse because people from all walks of life read this, I’m hoping.)

The dress I really wanted was Beautiful!  I felt like a Princess with the billowy skirt and it had sparkles on it, however, my mother had a different idea and had me try a plainer, type dress.  When I exclaimed, “Oh Mom, I feel like a Princess.” she said, “You aren’t supposed to be a Princess, You are supposed to be a Bride, Try this one on.” so I did.  My mother was paying for the dress But..they were both the same price..so this one was not a money issue.  I picked the dress my mother wanted.  After all, my father had already passed.  My fiancée and I had actually just planned to go to Vegas and get married.  The whole wedding itself  was more for my mother’s benefit.  But to this day, I still wish I had fought on that one issue and worn the Princess Dress I’d loved so much.

I talked to my sister and it turns out she went through almost the same thing with mom except it was over the color.  The dress she wanted was more of an off-white versus white and according to mom at the time, Brides had to be married in a White Wedding Dress.

I also thought I would share a few minor arguments my mother and I had while planning the Reception.  We had a small reception with a Buffet my mother and sisters did themselves.  The reception was held at the clubhouse of the mobile home park where my mother lived.  Now, I HATE the color PINK.  Everyone who knows me knows this.  So, obviously I wanted NO PINK ANYTHING of any kind at the reception.  While setting up, there were vases with fake flowers including pink ones on the side tables all around.  I was like, “Nope, That’s out.  That’s out…”  Mom said, “We are not moving the arrangements.  They need to stay in the hall.”   I said, “No, I told you I don’t want Pink.”  Mom said I was being immature because they are just a few flowers.  I didn’t care.  It was my wedding and I did not want Pink in that hall.  Then, my sister had an idea.  She called me aside and said, “Will this work?” and she started pulling just the Pink Flowers out of the arrangements and taking them in the back room. BINGO!  A simple solution.  Problem solved.  Next.

2nd and only other issue….  This is a Buffet so…. I love Spinach Dip.  Let’s have some Spinach Dip at the Reception!

Mom- “You don’t have Spinach Dip at a wedding reception.”

Mee- “Why not? I love spinach Dip.”

Mom- You just don’t.  It’s a wedding reception.  That’s ridiculous.”

Me- “I want Spinach Dip.  If you won’t make it, I’ll make it myself.”

Sister- “I’ll make the Spinach Dip!”

Guess what was eaten all gone at the Wedding Reception???

 

Introducing “Bear”

This is Bear and this is the story of how he came into my life.  With all the excitement of the movie “Ted”, I told Bear he could have some of the limelight.  Yes, he is old and slow but he does his job which is to keep an eye on my cell phone at night and sometimes he holds a small pad of paper and/or a pen under his paw.

There I was at 16 years old sitting at the table looking at the ads in the local paper when I come across an ad for a store having a sale on Teddy Bears.  I said, “Hey Mom, They are having a sale on Teddy Bears.  Will you take me to the store?”  Mom goes, “Who needs  a Teddy Bear, we don’t have children.”  I said, “I’ve always wanted a Teddy Bear.  I only had that old Snoopy which I dragged around by it’s neck.  Please take me.”  (that’s a whole nother story.) Mom took me but she was very nervous about someone seeing her with her 16 year-old-daughter getting a Teddy Bear.  How embarrassing, after all!  She kept saying, “Hurry up.” and “I hope nobody I know see’s me here.” so I played that off as best I could.  I picked up the first bear.  “What do you think of this one?”  My mom didn’t even look our way. “It’s fine.  Let’s go.”  I looked again.  It was not fine.  It’s nose was crooked.  I think it’s eye was too.  Nope, I kept looking.  Mind you, there were so many bears, it was a child’s paradise.  It was Teddy Bear Heaven!  It was a Bear Convention..Well, you get the idea.  Anyway, I kept looking until..I saw him.  Or, he saw me.  I really don’t know who found the other first.  But, he was perfect.  It was “Bear” and he was calling my name to come home.  I was so happy!  I don’t care if mom looked at him or was embarrassed or not.

I still have Bear.  I’ve had him for 32 years.  Unfortunately, he has outlived my mom.  He has been with me through many tears and hardships, as well as brought back this memory time and time again.

So, I just thought I would introduce him to you so he can feel like a celebrity.

Mom & Cleaning

My mother used to clean house constantly.  We even talked about sex once and she actually told me when she was sexually aroused and dad was not around, she would clean the house. I was raised in a house that looked like it should be in a magazine.  We had a Living Room that we could not live in.  It was only used for company.  Two chairs we were not even allowed to sit on.  It drove me crazy.

I vowed not to be like my mother in a lot of ways which is probably why I am not the best of house cleaners.  I’ll admit that may not be one of the best traits to have avoided.

I really do have the best of intentions.  I have this vision of how I really want my Library to look once it is organized but now it is the messiest room of the house.  The more I try there seems to be no end in sight to the clutter.  It is mainly paperwork that needs to be shredded and sorted.  Plus, I need to make a donation drop-off soon which I am trying to wait until my friend comes over so I can go into the Vintage Store at the same time verses making another trip there.  I must admit it is hard to go there without going in to discover all the new things they have.

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