Changing The Good Boys

Before I get back to my dating stories, and I will,..I wanted to talk about the affects of dating.

I believe everyone you’ve dated has an affect on you and your life in some way.  Some people and experiences can affect you much more than others.

It has come to my attention that one of my exes has chosen another sexual path to put it plainly..has become Gay.  I must say, this bothers me quite a bit.  It does not matter when I dated this man, the fact that I dated someone who has chosen this path makes me wonder what part I may have had in his decision.  It also makes me wonder how a woman gets over finding out her husband was secretly Gay all along?  I’ve heard of that before many times now in this day and age.

Another ex (we were both Virgins when we met) who was not the partier and quite straight-laced, if you know what I involved with strippers and I was informed also got into the party scene (I am not sure about drugs) after we broke up.  Is it possible that my goodness drove him to his badness?  Is it possible that my boring, normal way of life was not enough for him which is why he went that direction?

With the many ‘bad boys’ I’ve dated, I’m surprised I married the ‘nice one.’


Bad Deja-Vu

My husbands Grandmother is in her late 70’s and I love her dearly.  I do  not have a living Grandmother and really only knew one Grandparent (Grandmother) but have only negative memories of her..but I digress.  Anyway, Granny (as we call Steves Grandmother) fell and dislocated her hip and was taken to the hospital for surgery or to have her hip popped back in.  That’s really nothing, right?  Before I get into why the title, I must add that a while back this happened and she refused hip replacement surgery when she would have been able to have it for whatever reason and now it is to late..we think.  Anyway, they popped the hip back in and now have found various other problems.  Kidney problems, Bladder type problems, Maybe some sort of  thing under her breast, Blood sugar fluctuating, etc..  Most everything she goes through after it is described, Steve says, “That’s what happened to Authoress mom.”  (Call me that if you must call me anything, please).  She is being drugged up in an Assisted Living/Senior/Rehab Facility and her family wonders if she will come home.  Her children are already getting together to go over her finances, etc. just in case and also because if she does come home they will need to get someone to come help a few times a week to get her showered, dressed, etc.  I don’t like discussing this when the subject comes up.  Granny is a very strong woman.  I’ve asked God about the timing on this one.
  I haven’t visited my friend in the Senior Living Facility my mothe was in since mom died but I need to go see her and she is in her mid 90’s.  I will visit soon for Christmas.. however I am afraid of who may greet me with what news there when I arrive.  God supposedly does not give you more then you can handle..and this is more Steves side of the family but….

  Thanksgiving has passed and I did not speak with anyone on my side of the family.  I’m not sure we would have necessarily done anything anyway however, if my mother were here Steve and I would have gone and visited her and Jim.  Thanksgiving is not really the holdiay for phone calls as that is more at Christmas so we will see how that goes.  I was invited to one sisters who lives in AZ and we appreciate the invite however we are not ready to go that far at this time.  What with Steve having O/T coming up and me and my stupid doctor appointments. 

   As you can probably tell, I have changed my background a bit on this.  I am going to keep playing with it until I find what I am comfortable with.  I’ve decided since I love the holiday season and Christmas is my favorite I would try to shed just a little light on this blog.

  I am really not sure how much this Grief Group is going to help me or if I can or will just push my feelings to the back of my mind and one day have a break-down of sorts (crying, etc..) hopefully not embarrassing my husband to much.  Just as my mothers Surge-Of- Energy stage lasted a long time so might I be stuck in this feeling of blankness, nothingness, evasiveness? numbness, Apathy.