Post Surgery & Thoughts

The surgery went well and the worst part is the stupid tube they put down my throat that they didn’t tell me about until after.  I am really not in a lot of pain otherwise.  But, now, I really hurt when I swallow and it makes me cough, etc.  It feels sort of like the tube is still there.  Surprisingly, the pain when going to the restroom and at the site of the fissure is less than it was before the surgery, so I believe this may have actually worked.

It’s raining today and I’m losing my mind.  I’ve misplaced my cell phone and my check book so I will have to start clearing the house until I find them.  The last time I misplaced my cell phone it was in  one of the bags in the closet I was going to give to a Homeless Person.  Needless to say, I’ve already checked there.  And, I haven’t used my checkbook in over two days.  Ugh.  I hope the doctor didn’t cut into my mind while I was under.

Speaking of wich, it’s scary how we go under anaesthesia so quickly,  I don’t remember my husband coming in to see me before going into surgery.  I remember asking the nurses to get him and I remember one of the nurses saying they had put something in the I.V. to help for pain and make me drowsy but that’s it. He said he showed up and we talked a bit but I cannot tell you what was said.

Lastly, I finished my Nanowrimo novel on the 27th.  I’ve already started editing.  I am pretty proud of it although I am not sure about the end as I sort of made it really quick.  But, I did it and that is the part that mattered.  I love that they even give you a printable certificate to prove it.  I proved I really am a Writer or can be if I set my mind to it.  In a few weeks or so, it will be onto my next (or continuing) project.



Post Surgery Update

I’m alive and I’m on Vicodin.  Not too much pain but very loopy.  Much more than normal peanut gallery people.

Surgery seemed fast, I was completely out.

Suffering bad headaches too.

Haven’t used the restroom yet.  Not looking forward to it.  Hospital gave us an actual  Sitz BAth which my husband set up. Like a Bidet for your rear end.

Pre-Surgery Day

It is 11:45 p.m. and I am thinking of eating more, not because I am hungry but because I cannot eat or drink anymore after midnight until my surgery is over.  My surgery is tomorrow at 11 a.m.    I am allowed the occasional sip of water should my mouth get extra dry tonight but that is it.  I admit I am starting to psych out a bit and imagine I am getting headaches.  I get headaches all the time under stress but I’ve already taken the two Tylenol allowed and it really is not much worse, plus, the Head-On is fine so I can use that.  I need to stop this psyching out stuff as it won’t help anything.  I gave it up to God.  How can I give it up to God if I am going to let Satan psych me out?    That is very contradictory.  I am going to get through this and I am going to be fine.  This is what I have been wanting for a long time.  To get rid of this horrible fissure I have had for over a year.  Two, maybe.  To have a life without pain when I walk or sit or take a shower or whatever and to have a normal life with my husband.  I won’t go into detail but some of you can guess. (For those of you that know us, don’t you dare tell him I said anything.)

In other news, I finished my novel today.  50,078 words.  It was actually 50,150 when I finished but I did some editing and corrected the wording a half hour or so later.  I am so excited that I met that goal.  I did something and didn’t quit.  My story proved interesting and disturbing.  I don’ know if I will get it published.  I really don’t know just what I would put it under.  It is kind of adult fiction and it deals with a girl who is searching for her father and discovers he is the leader of a Cult.  It goes into some horrible experiences of the members of the cult and some interesting things she learns about her life there.  Plus, how she finally escapes and what happens to him and the other cult members at the end.  There is quite a bit of graphic detail and drama so it would definitely not be children’s fiction.  Does adult fiction have an actual title?

Anyway, I had told a friend (actually, I may have simply posted it) that I would change the theme of my blog after I finished writing my novel on Nano.  I had the last theme because I wanted the Word count pop-up on the blog.  I finished the novel today so I changed the theme.  I hope you all like this one.

I’ll be back as soon as I can.  No guarantee’s on tomorrow.  I hear the pain is pretty bad and the antibiotics are pretty strong.  I’ll also be on Vicodin which will hopefully help me sleep.

Fissure Surgery

I believe the surgery I am going to be having is called a Rectal Fistulotomy.  It seems to fit the description. Aapparently, quite a few people have gone through this and have not been in that 3%, wich is very promising.  A friend wrote and told me about the horrible pain she experienced while recovering (which was not promising).  I do wish people would focus more on the positive issues of things when they find out others are having surgery; versus the negative, which simply freaks us out more; but I’ve handled tons of pain in that area so I know I can handle more.  PLus, I’ve never heard of anyone dying from this type surgery.


Important Health Update Break

I saw the surgeon today and it turns out I will need surgery for my Anal Fissure.  I am not surprised.  After numerous creams and baths, etc.  Nothing has worked and it is still the same.  He says this surgery is Outpatient and has a 90% success rate.  He just cuts into the sphincter.  That’s exactly the way he worded it..made it sound really simple.   He said there is a 3% chance of long range complications of witholding gas and feces. (sounds like eternal IBS.) Guess that’s a risk I’m willing to take to get rid of pain.

In other news, Nanowrimo has some really cool games you can play when you want to be distracted from simply writing on your story.  One I like is sort of like Add-A-Story which some of you may have played growing up.  Someone starts a story and stops when it gets good then someone else takes it over and so on and so on until it turns out totally funny.  Or, maybe everyone was timed until the story ended.  Anyway, in this case.. the story is actually written (if you could call it a story) with the last lines from stories people are writing.  Example:

Someones last line they wrote of their story was:  “She opened her eyes and saw a ghost.”

The next person’s was: “But Trapper Jon said it wasn’t true.”

The next person said:  “Leif, I don’t trust you.”..and so on.


Now put it together.  She opened her eyes and saw a ghost, but Trapper John said it wasn’t true.  “Leif, I don’t trust you..”

It really does start to sound funny after a while especailly when so many people seem to be writing science fiction pieces and you throw in a few stories (like mine) that aren’t science fiction.  Now, after a I add a few hundred words or so, I  like to add my last line to the game and read them to see what we’ve come up with.  By the time I get to the end of the reading; someone else has added something after me so it usually turns out pretty silly.

Doctor’s Instructions

I interrupt my stories with some health news.  After all, this blog is titled, ‘Strange and Unhealthy Life.’ 

After waiting 2 and a half hours at the Colorectal Surgeon’s office yesterday (“He is a specialist and gets busy”; is what the receptionists told me).  I was informed that there may possibly be a cure without surgery.  However, I can Never leave home…at least  not for 6 weeks.  Just kidding.  Although, it seems like it.  I am so grateful not to have an outside job.  I don’t know how anyone who does could handle this.

Here are my instructions:

3 or more 5 min baths a day in the hottest water I can stand.  (Uh, it takes 5-10 minutes to even fill up the tub to cover my ass so let’s just call it 15-20 minutes each time.  If we take the minimum # required, that’s 60 minutes of my day gone right there.)

Eat more Fiber especially Fiber Bars.  (I better check that list of banned peanut and other butters though or I could be in trouble.)

Eat more ‘Green” vegetables.- Green Beans, Pea’s, Spinach, etc. (I love Spinach but lettuce really isn’t good for my system so it’s back to the grocery store I go.)

Drink water until urine is clear.  (Technically, I interpret that to mean..go to bathroom all day.) So, if I’m not in the tub; I’ll probably be urinating.  Fun.

Use another cream (this one he would prefer I not get generic, it costs $84.00) two times a day and it comes with a cone so you use it inside.

I am not elaborating on this any further.  You can figure that out by yourselves.  Can we feel pain at the thought of this.  I can and I don’t even have the cream yet!

Take Metamucil 3x a day.


So, that’s my life for the next 6 weeks.  The doctor  said this should work provided I follow this faithfully.  He also said  this should be a permanent fix verses temporary.  (Is anything permanent?)  He also said if this doesn’t work, we will talk about surgery when I go back in 6 weeks. I sure as heck hope this doctor know what he is talking about.


Doctor Updates& Tush Talk

So, I called the Specialist today and she is going to put the referral in now for the Colorectal Surgeon.  Hopefully it will be approved in time for my appointment on the 19th.  Of course, then I make an appointment with the Colorectal Surgeon before the actual Botox procedure, I’m sure.. but at least I’m headed the right direction.

In the meantime, I ordered one of those pillows with the holes in it. ..Donut Pillows?.. to sit on.  Supposedly, it shipped from GA on the 10th.  How long can it take to get from GA to CA?

Enough Tush Talk for tonight…  I saw. my metabolic specialist today and they upped my protein to 50 grams per day but want to keep the calories at 1700.  They say  I can pick foods that are higher in protein and lower in calories.  Yeah, wish me luck on this.  Weird how font suddenly changed to italics there..but I digress.  They started bagging on my Ruffles, Coca-Cola and GF Donuts but I rarely eat those things and I have to eat semi-normal treats sometime.  I have to admit I was excited when they encouraged me to start eating cheese for a snack as I love Smokey cheese.  The idea is to get my protein up without getting my weight up to quickly.  Of course, if my other issues heal up ; I can start exercising again which would help with the weight issues as well.

Whining on WordPress

Please be thankful for what you have be it a roof over your head, a working car, a bag of food, one arm, or even just the ability to use the retroom without pain.

Forgive me as I need to whine and vent a bit in this one.  It is so sad and a bit embarrassing  to be practically crying while in the restroom doing my business because it feels as if I am passing knives thanks to these fissures/hemmhroids.  You would think I had already had surgery and was breaking stitches with the pain I am in every time I go.  I know I need to eat fiberous foods and drink more water but I dread doing so because then I just go more often and the cycle continues.  I can barely sit comfortably and had to order myself a pillow for home to sit on.  I barely want to go anywhere when I feel well enough.  Luckily, in Vegas I could sit on a chair and not move for a bit.  It’s sad to look forwrd to seeing the specialist (Again) so this time I can beg for step 2 which is Botox.the step before surgery.  Obviously, the cream she gave me is not working.  I can barely even touch the area to apply it without pain and sometimes I think my whole ass cheek area becomes inflamed and does not want to open to let anything out.  Plus, to make my life more enjoyable…  (read with Sarcasm, please.) with the change in diet while in Vegas and back here I have been having accidents unknowingly (duh, they are accidents) in the middle of the night.  What a lovely thing to wake up to.  I am so glad my husband and I have separate rooms.  I am so glad I have such a patient and understanding husband.

Anyway, please remember there is alway’s someone worse off then you.  I know there are many people worse off then me.  I also know there are many people going through the same experiences.

But Yes, I do want to feel sorry for myself a bit now.  I want this to be over with.  I want to walk and crap like a normal person again without pain.  I think I did that before..I barely remember.  I want Botox, I want Surgery, I want Pain Pills.  I want anything it takes to stop all this stuff.  I don’t want pity but I do want understanding if at all possible.

I do feel a little better having written it all out.

Getting To The Bottom Of The Problem

Well, today was the day I was both waiting for and dreading.  The day of the specialist/surgeon appointment.  This one was a lady and she was super nice.  She didn’t have to use that horrible tool this time and she  totally empathized when I told her about what happened with the rude, male doctor I saw (who is in the same medical group and office she is in.  They have like 4 or 5 exam rooms or whatever and 4 or so doctors so it’s not like he heard me, not that I care).  Anyway, she even explained what can cause the fissures to be painful and a bit of how to try to keep your diet stable in order to handle it.

We are going to try, yet another, type of cream but this one has a really high success rate for curing people.  If it doesn’t work; our next step will be Botox into the area.  She said Botox does pretty much the same thing as surgery.  She said surgery is a last resort because some people who have surgery can become incontinent when it comes to gas or bowel movements and then they must have a follow-up surgery later.

Now, I have to find a Coumpound Pharmacy somewhere close to me and see if it is covered by insurance and how much this is all going to cost.    I would say I also need to have patience but it’s been over a year so I have lots of that.  Plus, if theres a real cure for this, it’s worth the wait.

Who Should I See?

Help.  What type of specialist (s) do you recommend for Anal Fissures/Skin Tags?  They need to take Blue Shield/ ADOC–(Affiliated Doctors of Orange County-HMO)  I need to ask my GP to get me to someone soon,  and this time I don’t want another GP that also knows about this.  I want a  Specialist of some sort.

So much pain.

This will sound gross but I described it to my husband as a Flea bite.  Now, multiply that by 12 (more like 100) and imagine them coming from inside your body every time you use the restroom.  I’ve been using the Healing Oil I ordered for a few days now (two?) but I’m not sure that’s going to work and it was really expensive.  I know they have a guarantee but I should give it at least another week before returning it..I just have a feeling it may be making me sting more.

Re-thought the motel situation while painting.  I am not going to bring the dog with me.  My husband will be here at night.  The idea of me going to the motel is so I don’t get sick staying here with paint fumes.  I am going by myself without the dog.  I have to be here all day with the animals anyway.  As soon as my husband gets home, I’ll take off and this way I will be away from the fumes as much as I can, to help my immune system.