He Gets The Dog and Other Animal Things

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Before we got married, HE had dogs and I had cats. We had cat and dog figurines on the wedding cake next to the Bride and Groom and cats and dogs going down the stairs from the top cake to the ground over a fountain; since we only had one Bridesmaid and one Groomsman.

Now we are separated. I slept solid last night after another sob fest. But, I woke up with a clear head and made a solid decision. HE can have his dog. Yes, I love that dog. Yes, I’ve cared for that dog. However, technically it is HIS dog. HE chose the dog. His friends gave us the dog. He has begged for visiting rights/privileges with the dog. Within the last week, I have finally gotten the dog to pee on the patio. PEE on the patio. That is only one part of his business. I used to sleep in until 9 and 10 because the dog had a dog door. I admit, I will miss the dog, but without him, I won’t have to make myself get dressed right away to take him for walks. I won’t have to force myself to stay up and dressed when I don’t want to in order to take him out for his last walk at 9:30 at night.

I spoke to HIM on the phone. HE said he may stay in the house now and can even put a dog door in the sliding glass door since he has already blocked in the other one. HE sounded happy about my decision. He also said he may just stay in the house now until Petey dies and when the 9 months end, he will probably just buy me a mobile home wherever I want.

I won’t tell you other things he said. I won’t tell you things that could take me out of La-La-Land should I choose to believe them. I won’t/can’t throw hope away even if HE wants me to head in that direction. It’s only been a week! Before you say it, I know, it’s probably been more then a week for him. But, it’s only been a week for me. I’m not prepared to accept it as over yet. Not completely. HE announced it a few weeks ago. Look how much changed in a few weeks. We’ve really hardly been a part. The sale is coming up in a few weeks. Couldn’t his feelings change after the sale, sometime? I NEED more then a week to accept even the thought of the possibility of this being final!

So, even though I told my dog I would not leave him. He is with his daddy. I’m sure he will adjust. Physically, the cat and I are adjusting already, and I am actually relieved of the burden.

Speaking of the cat. I am back to being the Crazy Cat Lady. I lived in a 4-Bedroom House where I had a large Coca-Cola collection and my library was my Cat Room. I’ve decided to decorate my apartment with Cat Things only. I kept one or two of my Coke things only because they are unique, but that is it. I have cat pictures, cat clocks, a cat ceiling pull, a cat rug, cat checks, even a cat license plate frame. I always used to say cats came before a man and if I found a man they would have to approve of each other. If I am/go back into the single life. That will stand again. It is Firepie and I alone now to face the world.

You know the license plate frame I should have gotten: “The More I Know of Men: The More I Love My Cat.” I think I’ll get a sign, or a t-shirt, or something. I know I have to watch my spending but that would really cheer me up. Maybe I’ll buy one thing and put other stuff on my Amazon List. Heck, my friends read this. Someone get me something with that saying, Please. My B-Day is in 6 months.

I think I may actually see what I can find and update my Amazon List now.
One of my favorite shirts just got ripped anyway and had to be thrown away.

Home of Broken Heart

I don’t know how to-do this. I don’t know how to not be a friend to the man I love. I don’t know how to not be the wife that I want to be. I don’t know how to be mean or not care. I texted him today. I should NOT do that! As someone pointed out, I have contacted him every day since we parted. But, it’s only been two days. The move was on Friday. I haven’t seen him. Seriously, I don’t know how to do this!

He asked me today for his mothers address since I have the Address Book but then I re-thought it. He can call her. He needs to ask his friends/family for that information. He didn’t/doesn’t want a wife anymore. He said he loves me but isn’t in love with me. That’s lame.

Anyway, my internet and t.v. is connected. Okay, one t.v. is connected. I have to buy a plug thing that holds more then one plug. I had one. I had two. The guy used one and I had the other in my hand but I put it down somewhere and I can’t find it. I looked all over but I don’t know where it is. The guys said it was okay but I started to cry. It’s not okay. It may never be okay again. My husband doesn’t love me. I had to be mean and didn’t give him his moms address (that was later in the day), I cant find the stupid, plug thing. Firepie barfed on the carpet this morning.

I went to the Counselor/Therapist, whatever this afternoon. I don’t think I will be going to that one anymore. The drive was crazy. It took me in like circles. I don’t like driving anyway especially in traffic. The drive was to long and I went by at least 3 places, he and I had gone to together. A furniture store where we looked for (purchased?) our sofa for the Living Room at the house, restaurants, Knott’s Berry Farm. I gave hin a shirt that he wore to Knott’s Berry Farm and he looked just like Charlie Brown. It was really cool. I don’t want to drive by there every time I go to the Therapist.

I got tons of boxes unpacked and you can almost see the whole Kitchen/Living Room. And, last night I watched Hoarders on dvd trying to get some normalcy in the situation. Because that’s what I would have done at home (the other place). I still have a hard time calling this place home because like my friend said, “Home is where the heart is.” and my heart is where my husband is, but, at the moment, he doesn’t love me anymore. So, my heart is broken.

Fast March & Question 4 You

Wow, It really has been a while, hasn’t it?  March snuck up on me way to fast as did doctor appointments.  I got a phone call with a reminder of a doc appointment for this Monday which I could swear was in April so then I had to rush to the lab.  I also saw a doc about my headaches who put me on a new headache med as well as adjusted my Topamax and one of the two just makes me fall asleep around 8 or 9 p.m. or earlier….during my favorite t.v. shows.  It sucks because I seriously don’t remember the endings and I really was not one to fall asleep while watching t.v before.  To me, that is a bit scary.

In amusing news, Firepie is a bit annoyed her Aunt Lisa and her husband got themselves a cat.  When my friend Lisa came over to visit.  Firepie was all over her purse (as usual) and when Lisa was ready to leave Firepie didn’t want to get off of it and yelled at her.  She never does that!  I know she can smell Lisa’s new cat.  I discussed it with Firepie and she just isn’t sure about the situation.  When Lisa comes here; I guess we are supposed to talk about Firepie and give her the attention not the new cat despite the fact that Lisa and her husband saved it’s life.  Other then that, I guess Firepie is okay with it.

So, someone on Facebook asked what was one thing you are happy having done or accomplished so far and what was one thing you regret not having done or accomplished. I responded that I am happy having survived an abusive relationship but am annoyed at having not written the book about it yet.  I have no more excuses.  So, I sat down yesterday and started writing.  If I take it slowly, it will eventually come together.  I am going to work on it a little at a time (nothing like the Nanowrimo) competition.  This is a true story of my life and I really think it will help my mind to get this all out.  I started with notes yesterday, but I think I am going to start again today in actual story form and see where it takes me.

  Here’s the question for you: What are you happy you’ve done or accomplished in life so far and what is one thing you regret not having done or accomplished?  Just to add:  Do you think you may ever accomplish it?

*I would love to hear your replies.

Story of My Cat, ‘Firepie’

Someone commented recently that they admired the picture of my cat at the top so I decided to make this post about her.

I had just lost my third cat a few months prior to getting her.  I decided after losing T.  I wanted a female, orange, tabby because I had never had one and because I heard a female, orange tabby was very rare as most orange tabbies are male.  I decided to pray, and look, and wait.  I also worked for a veterinarian at the time so I put the word out to my co-workers to keep their eyes and ears open for me.

During the time of waiting, I decided to pick a name.  I did not want a normal name.  I wanted something different.  I am not a normal person and I really like my pets to have special names.  I knew I wanted the name to have Fire as part of it.  It seemed only fitting.  At first, I really like Wildfire as I love the song about the horse.  But, my husband voted that down.  He was the one who actually came up with the name ‘Firepie.”  There is a back story about a friend of his or someone he knew and a nickname; but I just like to tell people I wanted the name to have the word Fire and we both like Pie so..there ya go.

Anyway, while at work one day; one of the girls ran up to me announcing she had found my Firepie.  The lady who brought her in said she was about 6 months old and she had wandered in her garage.  They’d kept her for about two weeks or so but they could not keep her because they already had two cats.  She had named her “Penny’.  At first, I wasn’t sure because I had really hoped for a kitten but I took her home and decided to try her out  My husband liked her from the get-go.

We had her spayed where I work and it was after she was spayed and I checked on her and discovered a gigantic hole in the box and she had escaped the box and was hiding under a chair that I knew this was definitely going to be my baby.

Flash Memory

So, we went to IHOP last night and I ordered the wrong crepes.  That isn’t hard to do because they have like 1,000 choices, but I am gluten intolerant and have to be careful.  Needless to say, I am paying for it.  I can only;y eat the Fruit Crepes.  I got the Fruit Dessert Crepes.  Not, the same.  It had some weird filling in it.  I should have known better.  My fault..whatever.

Have you ever had Flash Memories?

I just did and they drive me nuts sometimes.  “Flash Memories” or that’s what I call them are when a memory just comes from out of nowhere for no reason whatsoever.  I was just taking a bath and had memories of the time my grandmother was dying and I got brave enough to tell her I loved her and she looked me straight in the eye and said, “Who is that?”  I was really young then, so I ran out of the hospital room and back to our motor home…and the time my dad was dying and I could not be near him because it was too painful to watch, and the time my friend died but nobody from her family bothered to tell me.  Plus, the time my mother got sick and was dying and called me by my sister’s name, as well as the times she continually bitched at me about not liking the facility she was in because she wanted to go back to her mobile home.

But, the weirdest thing is:  the tears didn’t come until I remember my animals who died.  My first Fur-Children of my own.  Nobody can tell me animals don’t have souls or don’t go to Heaven.  I will alway’s believe they are over the Rainbow Bridge right now playing with the rest.

Mommy still misses and loves you Sweet Babies and alway’s will.

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Dog Door Drama

Today is the 3rd doc appointment this week.  Tired of docs, and I have more appointments to schedule soon for others.

Plus, now my husband is starting to feel sick.  He’s got the same nose crud going around that I just got over.

Last night I had a dream that it was a bad storm and my sis and I were together and for some reason, my cat wass at the door wanting to go out (she is an indoor cat) and my sis let her out.  I was like, “What did you do?” She doesn’t go outside!” and my sis said, “She wanted to.  She’ll come back.”  but, I got dressed and went out in the rain to find her.

Then, I woke up this morning to discover the motor on the dog door had stopped working and the cat could go out if she wanted to.  My husband said she probably won’t because she knows she isn’t allowed in that room and not to try the door; but she sneaks in that room periodically and she is really smart.  She knows the difference in sound.  She has gotten out before when that door didn’t work.  So, I am going to monitor when the door to the office is left open and close her in another room when it is.   I am not risking losing my baby while we wait to purchase a new dog door.

This One’s For You.

It’s after midnight and my eyes are going out and I have to do the dishes, but, I will take 5 minutes or so to update You my Friends and Followers because I don’t want to lose you all just because I am working on a novel.

This blog really is important to me and I try to keep up every few days.  I am so sorry if my life is boring to you now.  I now understand why most writers are or become very reclusive.  The weather is starting to cool a bit which makes it the perfect setting to stay in my pajama’s.  Don’t worry, I do bathe and change my underwear and write at my computer all day if I wish..like I did today.  I must admit, today I got to over 28k,.  I did decide it was time for a break and played a few Bingo games, etc.  as a distraction from what my main character is now going though in the strange place in which she has arrived.

I learned today that my  surgery date is set for the 28th of this month which means while most people doing Nano will have until the 30th, I will have 3 days less.  While my surgery only lasts a day, I don’t think my story would end well if I am on Vicodin and I really am not sure how well I will do sitting on a chair after the surgery anyway.

We learned yesterday that a neighbors cat has been missing for two weeks which is quite sad.  It is a really a friendly cat too and would visit everyone.  What gets me though isthe owner is now asking if there is an AVID site yet, he still has not looked for the Chip # paperwork.  Nor, has he called, gone-to or checked the website for the local Animal Shelter.  Plus, there are no lost cat signs posted anywhere.  In my opinion, if you truly wanted your cat back, you would be doing one or all of these things plus, going door-to-door asking if anyone had seen him.  I have  lost my Fur-Children before and believe me, you don’t want to tangle with me because I get determined and hysterical about finding them.  When your animal has been gone two weeks and this is the reaction, it tends to make me wonder.

Okay, I must close my eyes now and I really cannot wash dishes with my eyes closed.  Believe me, I’ve tried it and the water runs to long.  It may not be tomorrow, it may be the day after.  However, please have patience and please keep reading this blog.  Who knows, maybe next year, I’ll put you in my Novel.  I really don’t know how I can use you in this one unless you give me permission to use your first (WordPress) name.  I will need more character names so I may even need you in this one.

Please let me know if this is acceptable.

Good-Night

 

Feeling Good & Busy

I’ve been feeling really good stomach-wise for the last 3 days.  I sure hope it continues into our vacation this wknd and I find some food I can eat while there and not just potato’s.  I love potatoes but..  I am having a hard time finding menu’s for GF (I am going to word it that way verses Gluten-Free) foods at State-Line.

I took Firepie (my cat) to the vet yesterday and she was really good and didn’t bite the vet.  She is healthy but they did find a soft, heart murmur.  We aren’t going to worry about it yet as it may have been stress from having been poked and prodded by the vet.  She and the dog also both had their nails trimmed.

I ‘ve been super busy getting things tied up before we go.  What with cleaning the house, making calls, catching up on bills, etc.. not to mention my own appointments and I need to make sure the animals have enough food, etc..  I also need to watch my Netflix movie so I can return it and get the next one.  It’s not good to keep them to long.

Vote For Firepie!

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Please vote for Firepie. She’s a Christian, She’s family-oriented, She’s funny..and it’s a lot more fun then voting for the President! Plus, you can vote any time you want as many times as you want day or night until May 10th, I think.
Vote For Me – That Darn Cat Contest 2012
ocregister.upickem.net

American Made Animal Food

The new treats arrived for my dog today from Petmeds.  I live in SO. CA. and there was a big thing on the news about chicken treats from China making dogs sick.  If it isn’t us worrying about Pink Slime in our food, now we have to worry about this too.   Anyway, my dog is 13 years old so I am not taking chances and he is only getting American made products from now on.  I don’t care if it costs a little extra.

Also, I was watching the show, ‘My Strange Addiction’ last night and a repeat was on about a girl who ate cat treats as her complete diet.  When the doctor told her what chicken meal and other meal is made of, I thought I was going to vomit.  Why do we feed our animals food that are barely for human consumption?  No wonder my cat kept getting sick on her canned food when she was young and had to be taken off!  I have switched both my dog and cat to natural animal foods.  If you read the ingredients, they are actually made from foods humans eat.  So, are the new treats I just got for my dog.

I wonder if the girl on ‘My Strange Addiction’ would have munched on those instead of the other ones (like if she had actually read the label) if she would have been healthier in the end.  I don’t see a problem with munching on a cat treat once in a while, if that is your thing..but making it your main or only diet is going way overboard.

Heck, I remember one day we were out of snacks and my friend came over so we munched on a few Milk-Bone Dog Treats when I was young.  Needless to say, when my mother asked what we ate because she knew she hadn’t gone shopping yet and I told her, she made sure she we were stocked on chips or crackers from then on.

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