My View on Organized Religion

I was raised Roman Catholic and there were a few things they taught I always questioned..like Purgatory. Iin the Bible, there is a verse about separating the Sheep from the Goats: it was never suggested putting them into 3 groups for one group to repent or be decided later, Confession was another one that was a bit confusing..only because when I was young I had to think of things to confess.  I’m not perfect but I wasn’t the type to steal things and I didn’t usually lie to my mother so if  copying someone’s paper was a sin that’s what I would confess  Then we have types of sins.  Types of sins?  Where in the Bible, are there types of sins?  Someone please point these things out.  I have read the entire Bible.  (It took me 3 years.)  The Catholic church believes there are two types of sins..Mortal and Venial.  Mortal would be knowing what  you are doing is wrong and doing it anyway and Venial would mean not knowing what you are doing is breaking a commandment.    Another problem I had with a belief of the Catholic Church was Communion.  I’ve alway’s believed in The Last Supper, however, I could never grasp the concept that I was actually eating the body and blood of Christ.  To me it was alway’s a reminder of that night.  To me, the Priest is not a Magician and we are not Cannibals.  No matter how much my mother (or others) tried to convince me, it never registered, Plus, the money from the collections should be used to help others not for new air-conditioning, seats, etc.  I don’t know why but that alway’s bugged me..  But, what really made me leave that church/religion was when I was in the Youth Group and the church preached over and over again how sex before marriage was wrong, wrong, wrong.  Then, the popular girl in the youth group got pregnant by the popular guy and everyone got happy for her and threw her a baby shower.  People like me were still ignored.  People like me who didn’t do wrong.  People like me who followed the rules.

Later on I changed to the Baptist Church.  They seemed like a really nice group of people.  They were friendly,  it wasn’t a stand up, sit down, follow what is in this book type church. it was more interactive.  they even believed  communion to be a symbol of the last supper, however… they believe even if you think something wrong you can go to Hell;  they believe everyone on Earth is a Saint.  That can’t be true.., I learned a song and a prayer which part of it says; “all the Angels and Saints, and to you my brothers and sisters…”),   Problems…they don’t believe in regular rock music and they think Satan is going to jump out of  my Halloween decorations, plus, they become clicky and talk behind the backs of others and they jumped on the bandwagon like the Catholic Church.  You need to be here Every Sunday.

Nobody tells me where I need to be every week!

Needless to say, I am pretty much done with organized religion.  Yes, I am a Christian.  A Christian is a Follower-of-Christ.  I read my Bible and I’ve found sermons on the t.v. and the internet.  I’ve considered attending a service or two at a Non-Denominational church nearby but I don’t think I will join anywhere again.

Prayer Request for God’s Word Continuance

Let me start by saying I am a Christian which means I am a Believer…a Follower of Christ.  I am Christ’s Daughter.  I do my best to follow his word..however:

I hope God forgives me for not having felt like nor been attending church lately.  I was raised in a Catholic Church where I was forced to attend every week.  We only missed if we were really sick.  I was turned off of Catholicism when a popular girl in the youth group became pregnant by a popular guy and everyone decided to have a baby shower for her.  It angered me because people like me who were following the rule of No sex before marriage were still being ignored; and it seemed as if this couple was being rewarded for sinning.

I stopped attending church for a few years after moving out of my parents house to see which religion I would be comfortable with since growing up in a Strict, Roman Catholic, family; I was not allowed to try other religions.  I chose Baptist and even got Baptised in that religion (to my mothers annoyance because as she kept claiming, “You are already Baptised in the Catholic church”.)   I stayed with a specific Baptist church for quite a few years until I began questioning a few of the things the Pastor was preaching.  I began investigating a few other Baptist churches and mentioned in confidence that I was trying out a few different places.  Needless to say, I was pushed out before I was actually ready to leave and would not feel comfortable returning to that church.  I have been attending a really good church on television.  I’ve even exchanged letters with the Pastor of this church.  For some reason, I have not been in the mood to sit through the programs for the past few weeks.  I don’t know why.  My mind is just not there.

I still have a personal relationship with God and I pray he will lead me back to his word soon.

If you are a Christian, will you please pray f or me?

Becoming A Recluse

(Sing to the tune of “Where Have All The Flowers Gone”)..I don’t know why it is double-spaced but it won’t let me fix it.

“Where have all the comments gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the comments gone

Long time ago…”

Hmm, So is my blog getting boring?  It is called “Strange and Unhealthy Life” so forgive me if my sickness bores you.  It actually bores me too.  Then again, I guess boring isn’t the word for it.  It isn’t really boring when your on the toilet time and time again writhing in agony from your Stomach or Hemorrhoids or Skin Tags or you’re in bed almost screaming in pain while waiting for your migraine meds to work.

It is really cold out so I am staying warm in the house.  I like my house and I hate the cold anyway.  I think I am becoming a Recluse with how much I like staying in my house.  I am not depressed like I was where I had to force myself to go out.  I just don’t want to..unless there’s a reason.  I have most everything here.  I even shop from home.  Except groceries and prescriptions which I pick-up from Walgreen’s which is right around the corner.  Why leave? when I can stay home with my animals?  I’ve even found some super cool church websites on the computer and a religious  t.v. show On-Demand.

Speaking of church, I’ve noticed I haven’t heard from anyone in the new church I had been going to.  Obviously nobody cares that I am no longer attending.  Pastor used to call when I’d missed more than 2 weeks.  Ever since our Halloween debate, things have changed.  Who knows what they are saying about me since I’ve gone.  I had noticed they gossip about those who have left.

 It’s funny but I’m reading a book my friend gave me for Christmas titled, ‘Tired of Trying to Measure Up.’  by Jeff VanVonderen and originally when she gave it to me, I thought she was crazy and I wouldn’t like it; but it has a chapter that is really fitting in and making sense now.  The chapter is talking about shame-based systems and how you can be raised in a shame- based system as well as how some churches have shame-based systems, and I think I have been in both of those situations on different levels.  I have also been in quite a few relationship shame-based systems.  With what I am seeing of society and the way people act toward one another..it’s no wonder I am starting to prefer becoming a Recluse.

Hey, what does LOL really stand for..Laugh-Out-Loud or Lot’s-Of-Laughs.  I’ve alway’s wondered.  Not that it really matters.  It’s silly anyway but I’ve alway’s preferred it to mean Lot’s-Of-Laugh’s.

Better In Some Ways

My friend L. and I finally went for Sushi last night and it was so GOOD!  On my Gosh!  I’d be talking to her and in the middle of my sentences I’d  say “Hold on”  and take a bite of my Crunch Roll.  I know that was rude but it was almost like if I didn’t keep eating, the food would simply disappear by itself and I only get this once a year.  My favorite dish Uni had been devoured the minute it arrived.

As for my stomach issues..I guess it doesn’t matter what I eat.  Originally, I thought it was from gaseous foods but now I am not so sure.  This has been going on for a week or so and my stomach noises are embarrassing.  Of course I remember being in school and my stomach always made embarrassing noises especially when we all had to be quiet like during tests and I just wanted to hide under my desk.. but this time I’ve had diarrhea with it on and off as well and obviously it isn’t from the Sushi since this started long before.  I’ve tried changing my diet for the past few days and that isn’t helping anything at all.  I think it’s just made my system madder since it just seems to make my stomach louder and more obnoxious.

I must say it is good to be feeling a bit better.  I finally washed and changed everything on the bed and cleaned the entire room.  I am getting tired of being sick and  laying in stinky sheets.  I finally got out of the house two days ago for the 1st time (I think) since the 24th.

Lastly, (for this one) I’ve decided to term myself Christian verses Baptist.  I’ve actually been baptized Catholic and Baptist now.  I could keep going I suppose and be extra confident that I am a child of God.   I am at a point now where I am better off not as part of a denomination however I still have my beliefs.  I have been attending some on-line services.  One was from a local non-denominational church.  It was their Christmas Eve Eve Telecast.  I really enjoyed it and I still was able to fast forward through some of the songs, etc.  I wasn’t interested in to get to the sermon.  The other is one of my online sermons I usually listen to at Twickenham Baptist in Twickenham, New Jersey (I think).  The Pastors are awesome and the messages are fantastic.  Once again, I can fast forward some of the music if I want to however their choir is pretty good and the focus is on the message.  With on-line, you don’t have to drive anywhere and you don’t get sucked into the drama crap.  In this way, I keep my relationship with God.

Do I Really Need A Church Home?

First the gross news – I crapped my pants in my sleep last night.  What the…?  The last time that unexpectedly happened (during the day) was when I discovered I had I.B.S.  Totally disgusting.  But, asleep?  Anyway, it may have had to do with the fact that I had gotten up early the day before and stayed up late while my sister was over plus I went way over my Protein requirement the day she left; and that was the same day we got the dog we are babysitting which I won’t even get into right now other than to say it is wild so I was exhausted last night.  Maybe the combination of all those things threw my body off in this very disgusting way.  But, I had to post this since it is health related and this is my Health Blog after all.

I am questioning church again.  I sort of miss my old church but I don’t feel comfortable going back because I don’t like the way things ended.  I feel as if I was sort of pushed out and things didn’t end fairly but we won’t go there since that’s the past.  Since the Halloween situation and the inadvertent debate with Pastor at the church I attend now I sort of  feel as if I am being  judged differently.  I almost have to be careful as to what I say there as I cannot show who I really am.  Plus, I’ve noticed they talk about members and others behind their backs so I can only imagine what is said when I am not around. 

 I don’t want to be obligated to go to church every Sunday and have people call me or make me feel guilty when I don’t.  I know my relationship with God.  My sister had an idea of attending a Non-Denominational church which I may try.  I will have to choose one my neighbors (that I know of) do not attend though.  I did not realize Calvary is Non-Denominational.  When I do not attend church now;  I still listen to the free web sermons I find on the internet which covers the main message I need to hear without all the unneeded stuff I don’t.