Even The Dog Is Confused

Yesterday when I texted HIM (I think that is how I will refer to him now for a bit) I mentioned that if he wanted to keep up on how I was, he was welcome to follow this blog. After all, in my mind, we are still husband and wife..just separated, and in this way; he will know what is going on. But, he will not be responsible for any of it. Actually, that’s not true. He is responsible for most all of it. He is the reason I and the animals are here.

Anyway, he read yesterdays blog entry and texted me. I know he read it because he used one of the same terms I did. he was not supposed to comment that way, he was supposed to comment anonymously here on this site. Or, if HE wishes to be himself and admit HE is my husband, he can be prepared for the fall-out of anyone who may comment to HIM. If I text back, we get into a conversation and I become his friend..which is what he wants. I cannot do that. If I let myself become a “friend.” I will never be able to become his wife again. (That may not happen anyway.) After all, I’m not supposed to hold onto that 2% chance right now. I will reiterate that it is to painful to communicate and be a friend. I said I will communicate about the house, or the dog, or the garage sale. But, not chit-chat. Keep it business. He Cannot, Did Not and Will Not change his mind in 3 days. This came close once before and he changed his mind in one day..but I guess really didn’t. Or, I wouldn’t be here.

Okay, So last night I’m taking Petey for a walk at 10:30. He refuses to go potty in the back yard. This is ridiculous. So today, I go to Home Depot where I buy a Shower Rod. I find one but I don’t see directions on how it extends. Last time, I bought the wrong size. I realize the last one I got was actually a Towel Rod. I almost lose it but I tell myself; NO, you are not going to lose it in the middle of Home Depot. I also bought a plug strip. The guy at the store called it a Strip. (In his text, HE said he had the strip, but I was not going to make the extra trip over there to get it). One of the main reasons I went to Home Depot is because someone suggested getting one of those boxes where you put them together and put them on the patio with grass so I won’t have to take Petey out so late. I go to Home Depot near me and purchase one. The Home Depot I go to does not have the sod or grass though so I call the one near my old house that does and I go their after, BUT: the girl there tells me it will stain the patio. IT WON”T WORK! At least I didn’t waste the $50.00. At least, I’m at a Home Depot, so I can return it and get my money back. I thought about potty pads for pets but I can’t leave them outside or they will blow away. Petey is 14 years old and doesn’t really like change.

Petey

Petey

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do?

I have an appointment with a new Psychologist tomorrow who is only 5 minutes away.

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My Blog and Emotions

My last post brought an extreme reaction from a friend and at first I took it to mean I lost said friend. However, after talking to my sister, she made me realize I am to emotional to receive comments from people at present. Makes sense. Anything I read/hear is just not being taken the way it is being sent. It’s not necessarily that it is not what I do or don’t want to hear; maybe it is that I just cannot hear it NOW. At least I just talked to said friend on the phone to make sure all was clear with us. I also decided not to update regarding the marriage issue on Facebook anymore for the same reason. However:

My blog is what it is: My space to blog my feelings..so this will continue:

Since I don’t know most of you and those I do know have different names (most of you), this will still be a emotional, venting, crying, place. I hope that is okay.

Spam Types

When I was much younger (before I became a Flexitarian) I used to like SPAM.  My mother would mix it with mayo and put it in sandwiches for my lunch at school.  I also used to bring Avocado and Mayo with Cream-Cheese and maybe some Walnuts.  I still like those sandwiches.  Needless to say, nobody wanted to trade lunches with me.    Anyway, Now that I know the ingredients of SPAM or enough about it, I definitely don’t eat it anymore.  My father used to eat a lot of it while on the ship when in the Marine Corps and called it S _ _ t- on a Shingle.  One more positive on Spam though was the Dr. Demento song.  If I knew how and could find it, I would post it for you.  But I’m not that technologically advanced .

But: this brings me to today’s blog  topic:

Not the canned SPAM I’ve been talking about: but the SPAM comments I and everyone else who has a blog receives.  Good Gravy, some are just ridiculous.  “Your writing is amazing.  I’ve been looking for it for a long time.  It is just what I was looking for.  I will keep follow.”  What?  You were looking for a post about pain and headaches?  That’s amazing writing to you.  You obviously don’t read much.  You will keep follow.  You don’t write much either.  Please don’t keep follow.  Nope..Your deleted.  Next.

“My brother told me to see your website and I am glad he did.  I will be new Follower.”  This almost sounded legit the first time.  Apparently, peoples brothers are really passing the word around.  However, without further info, I am not impressed.  So sorry, but I don’t trust you or your brother.  Delete…Next

“We have started a small group of writers to write topics like you.  If you would like to join us, please click this link.”  No, No, I am not clicking your link nor joining your probably spammy, non-legit group.  Delete.  One more.

“Click my pics”  Naked Chics.com  Delete! Delete! Delete!  No explanation needed.

Amusing Spam

I have been sick since the 2nd so I saw my Primary first thing this morning and have been diagnosed as having a minor case of Bronchitis and I will be starting on the Z-Pack.  I’ve had the Z-Pack before and I am actually looking forward to taking it and finally kicking this crap.  I get so tired of being sick after a while.  It sucks when you are on immunosuppressants and get the same stuff over and over again.  Plus, sickness always last longer than everyone else and you just can’t kick it without antibiotics.

Actually, it isn’t just from the transplant and immunosuppressants.  I have been this way all my life due to my metabolic disorder.  I never did get the ‘Perfect Attendance Award’ in school.  I remember my mother telling me that was a stupid award anyway because it encouraged children to go to school while sick and getting everyone else sick.  When I was younger, I would wind up in the hospital with Bronchitis or the Flu for weeks at a time.  At least now I am older, I know how to handle things at home but I still get sick way more than I would like to.  Not that anyone likes being sick.

I’ve had some interesting Spam comments lately.  Obviously, I haven’t approved them.  Yeah, I know..it’s hard to tell sometimes if its Spam, Ham, Pam (what?’), etc.. but where do some of these come from?  One of them keeps telling me my writing has gotten boring to them and they will continue reading if my writing improves because they know I can do better.  Excuse Me!  Did I not mention, this is my real life?  Gosh, I’m so sorry my real life is boring to you.  Out of all the wonderful, exciting blogs out there you can read, I’m sure there are many interesting ones you can find to fill whatever fantasy it is to keep you going.  I’m not going to cater to you one spammer person because you find my blog boring that you are so important that I should change my life posts in order to keep you as a follower.  I am so sorry.

Then, there are the others asking how to like the blog by mobile or what server I am using?  What?  I have no idea.  This is WordPress, is it not?  I am not technological.  You figure it out.  Aren’t those technology questions, you would ask of WordPress?  Of course, we can’t forget the gobbledygook things like:  “This information is newsworthy and I will share it with my friend who is writing about such things and will find it interesting”,  “Your writing is amazing and news is interesting.  I will share with others and come back.”,  “I was searching for sites with news such as this, I will definitely return.”

Isn’t it wonderful?  These people were actually searching for true stories about people who have given change for the bus to those who don’t really need it and they thought it was news-worthy.  Apparently, their friends will too so they are forwarding that one and I may get more readers.  I don’t think so.

I would love to hear about some of your Spam comments.  Don’t you find them a bit amusing?

To Post or Not To Post

This blog is all true.  I don’t use real names to protect the people involved and to protect myself as I will always’ be terrified of the possibility of an ex finding me through this site.  It’s my thing and the way it is.  Plus, for some reason, I find it safer without real names.

I posted a post a while back titled, “Back To School #6”  The story put me in a bit of a bad light after reading it in print and definitely did not feel the same as the day it happened.  As a matter of fact, I had a feeling it may offend some..although I was not worried about the party involved in the incident as he and I are friendly now..however; I was in doubt of keeping the story published.  I wasn’t sure though, so I waited.  When I hadn’t heard feedback for a bit, I figured maybe it had flown under the radar…until:

I received a comment from a Very, Good friend of mine who told me she was a bit upset upon reading that story/post I had written.  She said it made her sad.  Had I kept the story and added her comment; I felt it would have made me look & feel worse than the original post & story already did.  So, I have deleted that entire entry.  I guess you could say her comment helped me make the final decision on that one.

Usually, when I don’t hear feedback, I change the title or add different tags or whatever to draw people, but that time I really didn’t want to draw people.  I guess I wanted it to fade into oblivion without judgement.

WordPress will almost always have judgement in one way or another be it from yourself or from the public.  Have you ever changed your mind on a post after posting?  How do you seriously make that decision of whether to let it go or stay?

Favor Requested

Will someone please write a comment about anything? I think I’ve messed up my settings and need to test it. I may be postingon how to fix them. There should be a simple way of how to get them back if this doesn’t work. Thx. Looking forward to hearing from somebody soon. Miss hearing from you all.

Post On Spam

Today I want to talk about Spam.  Spam is a lunch meat.  I used to like it before I became Vegetarian/Flexitarain and gave in to my love of animals.  Plus, I need to be on a low-protein diet anyway due to my disease..but I digress.. I used to take Spam Sandwiches for lunch which was basically canned Spam mixed with mayo in a sandwich.    My father was a retired Marine having served a long time in the Marine Corps. (being on the USS Tennessee which was attached to the USS Arizona during Pearl Harbor and losing half his men as well)…  Yeah.. Yeah.  I know… once again I digress.   Anyway, dad used to call Spam “Shit On A Shingle” because he said that is pretty much all they ate and it tasted terrible. but when I was in school, I liked the taste.

Nnow we call the weird messages we get from weird people who have nothing to do with the topics we write about, “Spam.”  Does anyone know how that came about?  Could there not have been another word for it?  Let’s see..we could see it as a possible threat.  We could have just said P.T. or it could cause possible computer harm so there’s always the term, “Warning Llight.”  Hey, I like that.  We already have a trash folder here but Spam?  Is that really insulting enough for all these weird messages we really don’t want, can’t use, and/or are possibly harmful to our computers?

Do you ever wonder just what the production company of Spam thinks of this?

Also, speaking of Spam… I have been.  What types of Spam do you receive on your blog site?  Isn’t it weird to get Spam leading yu to other sites that have absolutely nothing to do with yours?  and why do I get comments starting “Dear Webmaster..”  Now, that is weird.  I guess sex type spam will show up everywhere so that is not to much of a surprise nor are the ones of how to get more followers.  Like I would follow a Spam suggestion.  I think not.

 

Blogging Then And Now

When you started blogging (if you can remember that far back?), what was your goal?..aside from to Blog, that is?  Was it to have 100 Followers..collecting them like shells or rocks or pens or whatever else it is you like to collect?, Was it just to blog to keep in touch with family and close friends completely forgetting the idea that the whole internet world can read what your writing if you don’t make it “Private”? (and you don’t),  Was it because you like the idea of typing/writing/sharing your thoughts on whatever to anyone anonymously knowing anyone can read it and having their input in hopes that maybe it will help you sort things out; plus, you can get into the minds and lives of new people that way..also, along the same lines you know that others just might be going through the same thing and can empathize? (that’s me)

Go back to that day you wrote that first blog (if you remember) and the reason you began.  Now go to now.  Has your life changed?  Have your thoughts on blogging changed?  Do you have Followers now?  How does that make you feel?  Do you feel like a Celebrity..or is it sort of like, “Hey, I’ve evolved.  Somebody likes me now.  Look at all these people who actual care about what I have to say?”  I hope you’re not becoming conceited.  “Yeah, people have alway’s like me.  I’m the best of all time.  I’ve won 4 awards and I have over 100 followers.  I should win the Pulitzer Prize!”

I appreciate my followers and I thank them very much.  I cannot reciprocate to every one.  I like to check the blogs I follow every day or so and if I follow to many at one time,  I may never post on mine.   I value the feedback of all who comment whether I respond to the comment or not; except the strange, spam, sex-types comments which you won’t see on the main page because I’ve already deleted them.  Nothing like th e fun Spam folder, huh?

I  have grown a lot since I started this Blog and in the process I am starting to get healthier too; so now some of the topics are getting a bit more fun.  I look forward to even more of that in the future.  Somehow, I think blogging is better than therapy which sort of ties into my next topic.

Becoming A Recluse

(Sing to the tune of “Where Have All The Flowers Gone”)..I don’t know why it is double-spaced but it won’t let me fix it.

“Where have all the comments gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the comments gone

Long time ago…”

Hmm, So is my blog getting boring?  It is called “Strange and Unhealthy Life” so forgive me if my sickness bores you.  It actually bores me too.  Then again, I guess boring isn’t the word for it.  It isn’t really boring when your on the toilet time and time again writhing in agony from your Stomach or Hemorrhoids or Skin Tags or you’re in bed almost screaming in pain while waiting for your migraine meds to work.

It is really cold out so I am staying warm in the house.  I like my house and I hate the cold anyway.  I think I am becoming a Recluse with how much I like staying in my house.  I am not depressed like I was where I had to force myself to go out.  I just don’t want to..unless there’s a reason.  I have most everything here.  I even shop from home.  Except groceries and prescriptions which I pick-up from Walgreen’s which is right around the corner.  Why leave? when I can stay home with my animals?  I’ve even found some super cool church websites on the computer and a religious  t.v. show On-Demand.

Speaking of church, I’ve noticed I haven’t heard from anyone in the new church I had been going to.  Obviously nobody cares that I am no longer attending.  Pastor used to call when I’d missed more than 2 weeks.  Ever since our Halloween debate, things have changed.  Who knows what they are saying about me since I’ve gone.  I had noticed they gossip about those who have left.

 It’s funny but I’m reading a book my friend gave me for Christmas titled, ‘Tired of Trying to Measure Up.’  by Jeff VanVonderen and originally when she gave it to me, I thought she was crazy and I wouldn’t like it; but it has a chapter that is really fitting in and making sense now.  The chapter is talking about shame-based systems and how you can be raised in a shame- based system as well as how some churches have shame-based systems, and I think I have been in both of those situations on different levels.  I have also been in quite a few relationship shame-based systems.  With what I am seeing of society and the way people act toward one another..it’s no wonder I am starting to prefer becoming a Recluse.

Hey, what does LOL really stand for..Laugh-Out-Loud or Lot’s-Of-Laughs.  I’ve alway’s wondered.  Not that it really matters.  It’s silly anyway but I’ve alway’s preferred it to mean Lot’s-Of-Laugh’s.