Last Post-My Truth

This will be my last post on this blog. I will be ending this one and starting another. Just as this chapter of my life is ending and re-starting.

I need to confess something to you. I haven’t been completely honest lately. I’ve been writing some fiction immersed with truth. While I do miss the life I had and the family we were, I am not still extremely depressed. I have been uncovering some truth, some facts about the man who claims he loves me but is no longer in love with me; bad things. Not just on one website or but numerous websites, phone numbers, accounts I had not known about During and after our marriage. I found HIS picture. I know my husband. I’ve washed those clothes. HIS picture. Needless to say, I am not waiting to get away from this.

I hired a Divorce Lawyer. I’m done. That was over two weeks ago. HE was served today. During those two weeks, I’ve been working off anger. So much anger. Yes, I still do cry once in a while about what was but; not as much and I hardly take Xanax at all. I couldn’t write that. HE reads this. So, I waited. Until Tonight..

HE DENIED IT! ..Every single thing. Come on. Man Up! Give some honesty finally, please. HE denies being on Any website, HE denies having any other account or cell phone, HE denies having cheated on me during or after our marriage. I Have Your Picture! HE says I don’t understand what I’m reading. What? so, I’m an idiot now? Seriously, If it was one site, I may have believed you, but it isn’t. HEe says I’m being spiteful. No, Sweetheart, (read in sarcasm) I’m not being Spiteful, I’m taking responsibility for myself. I’m taking care of myself legally. I’m covering my ASS. I don’t trust you anymore. I’m angry and I’m hurt about the way you ended our marriage after 12 years. You weren’t honest after 2 years if you were so unhappy for 10. Why would you be honest now? I’m paranoid of meeting/trusting any man again. You took my heart and kicked it to shreds after knowing my horrible history and promising me (not to mention our marriage vows which meant nothing to you) that you would never leave me or abandon me. I am not letting you control how the relationship completely comes to an end by using a Mediator or whatever verses an Attorney (I won’t even get into That issue here) because you don’t want to pay money for a Lawyer. To bad. You say, you want me to be happy. Well, I am. We are playing it my way now.

Sorry Readers, so that’s what’s up. He’s been Served! It took forever. I can finally get some sleep and peace. I am going to start a new blog and I will come back and follow a few of my favorites with a different name. When I come back, I will leave those people a comment of who I was (stillstrange). Until then, I really wish you all the best. I love WordPress.

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The Marriage Ending Saga (Found An Apartment)

I found an apartment and the paperwork is being signed and money is being put down today. We are also seeing someone about the Divorce. I may have to steel myself with a bit of anger or something to get through this: even though financially he is being very nice.

Here is what I don’t need right now. I have a neighbor who I thought was a friend. A new Christian. She literally told me she does not like my decision and it is against God. She said I should fight for my marriage because God does not want Divorce. She went on and on about how I should be the stronger person and have faith because God turns people around, blah, blah, blah. I almost told her where to shove her religion.

I asked S. again if he was sure this is how he felt. He actually said not only Yes, but if he decided to stay he would probably just do this to me again in the future because he is not happy. He also said he has felt this way for about the last 5 years. I had the transplant about 6 years ago. This means, about right after the transplant, S. decided since I didn’t I didn’t get miraculously cured or for whatever reasons;.he wasn’t happy and we should end it.

He re-affirmed that there is no one else or at least no one by computer.

I can’t dwell on this anymore. I need to focus on moving and try to put my crying on the back burner until I get out of here, if possible. I could be moving as soon as next wknd.

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