Health & Home

Wow, It seems like I haven’t posted in forever but that’s what happens when your stomach revolts from medication. So I went to the doctor with my usual sinus infection thing as my regular doctor wasn’t in. It sucked because my regular doc would have just called in Z-Pak and I probably would not have even had to see him. Anyway, this one puts me on Bactrim and Bactrim gave me diarrhea so bad that I was going all day and night. I swear, I think I lost another 2 pounds. This is not good. Needless to say, after 3 or so days of that crap (literally), I decide to quit that entirely. I called the doctor who suggested taking one more but I told her NO. The sinus infection is 90% better, and yesterday without the Bactrim, my body finally started to heal. Ugh.

It’s funny. I walk around this apartment complex and sometimes I glance in the windows of the other apartments and I think, Wow, people have really made their places homey. But, then I remember. THEY LIVE HERE!

This isn’t a vacation. WE LIVE HERE. FIREPIE, PETEY AND I. It is not going to just end and we are not going to go back to our lives before; Back to the family that we were when I was a wife and the animals would run to the door when their “daddy” would come home. My place is not homey because I have not put any pictures up at all. In my mind, I do not “live” here. This is not our home.

I remember a time before when we got to this point in the relationship and HE had said HE might want to separate temporarily and I had agreed to move out then. We had set the time for about 3-6 months or so. HE was going to stay in the house that time. I had gotten to the point of packing boxes. Somehow, in my mind, I did not think it was really over then..and it wasn’t. HE went to counseling before changing his mind. But, this time? You know the story.

No Pill Refill?

How the heck am I supposed to re-gain the weight I need to with diarrhea and headaches? The diarrhea is probably caused by stress I’ve been under (not like I’ve been under any.) I wonder if grief and loneliness can bring on diarrhea. I’m sure a change in eating habits can. But, I told you. I’m getting back on track to eating right or at least the right amount.

I’m fighting with the docs today over my headache meds. I take two headache medications. Both of which I am almost out of. They won’t fill one as long as I continue to fill the other one since they are both for Migraine. I am almost out of pills. Seriously. I can’t pay without insurance because the one generic is still $1250. Guess I’ll be taking something I am not supposed to off the store shelves for the next month until I can get a refill. This is ridiculous.

I Wonder How Long Until Happiness Sets In

It’s been three weeks, as of yesterday. I don’t post every day because my days fade into each other. I watch t.v., I write letters, I call people, I play with the cat, I do the normal activities I have to..like eat, etc. I play games on Facebook, I still cry.

I’m done unpacking. I don’t want to do it anymore. There’s one more box that may have more towels although its marked Halloween. I’m missing some towels. I remember buying them. Or, maybe not. I’m not thinking straight. I keep putting stuff down and forgetting where it is. Sometimes, after being on the computer for a long time, I forget where I am and I think I’m at home..the other house..in the old kitchen and I’m surprised when I look to my left and I don’t see the kitchen table or the garage door. Then, my mind is back.

I still get headaches, I’m still not sleeping like I want to. Last night, I fell asleep while talking to a friend on the phone. That was rude. Luckily, he understands. He, yeah, it’s okay though. He is my best friend. The one I told you about. The one I got re-connected with.

I’ve seen the Psychologist twice but that didn’t work. He kept agreeing with me. Anything I said, he said, “Uh-Huh”, It’s good to feel that way”, “You’re right” He made me talk for the whole 45 minutes. What a waste. I could talk on the phone or to the cat for 45 minutes. I don’t need him. If I need to pay someone, I’ll get a Therapist, not a Psychologist. The last Therapist I had was nice but she was overly-religious and talked about herself all the time when she wasn’t preaching about God.

The manager introduced me to a lady who lives in the complex. A single lady with a cat. I got brave and knocked on her door yesterday, but she wasn’t home. Maybe some day we can drown our sorrows, or at least share our stories over a cup of tea. Guess I’m not the only Cat Lady in the complex.

A stupid guy who I thought was a friend tried to hit on me and wanted to spend the night. I got really pissed off! How dare men take advantage of this situation! First of all, I am separated, not divorced and from a Christian standpoint (which I and supposedly this man was) that is not moral and is considered Adultery. Secondly, I have so much emotion around me right now; I am so sad and angry about having been abandoned like this. I have already bought a shirt that says, “The More I Meet Of Men, The More I Like My Cat.” The last thing I need right now is another man coming into my life messing me up. I need supportive friends. “Friends” can be male or female. Needless to say, that guy and I had some serious words and he is OUT! Off of Facebook, Out! I did tell him I would continue as acquaintances but I don’t think that is going to work either. But wait, are your enemies still your acquaintances?

I wonder what HE does with his time, when not getting the house fixed up by his uncle. Wknds are when we used to go for drives with the dog and laugh over t.v. shows which I can hardly watch in full anymore without crying. I wonder if HE and the dog watch those same t.v. shows in full and he can laugh at them as normal without missing those weird comments I used to make. I wonder if HE eats anything healthy other then Bananas. I wonder if we really could be “friends” as HE wants to..months in the future. I wonder how my life spun out of control the way it did and if I will ever be happy again.

UnRavel Travel Plans

Tonight may be short because I am tired.  Good thing this has spell check.  Yesterday I was down all day with headaches, vomiting and chills.  fun.  I begged my husband to come straight home from work.  Sometimes when you are crawling on the floor in pain you just can’t make it to the kitchen for solid food.  Luckily, he did and I finally got down some Cranberry Juice and some soup before getting some sleep.  Oh yes, pain meds all day.

I am thinking I need a new Neurologist or some other type head specialist.  Maybe I need to start from scratch with another MRI. to see if someone see’s anything at all that could be causing these headaches.  I take so many meds I could open a pharmacy and I don’t think the Botox worked at all.

Anyway, I don’t think I am going to Vegas for our Anniversary.  I am seriously dreading the trip.  It is on Mother’s Day wknd.  We were going to meet my husbands mother there and she already paid for her plane ticket so my husband is still going.  We also had it set to pick up his aunt for the drive too and if we don’t do go we will leave her in a lurch.  H should go even if I don’t.

Now, I’ll have to call the hotel and find out if I can change the reservation into his name instead of mine only or put both our names on it in case so we don’t lose the room.  Maybe he can just bring my credit card or something.  We both have the same last name.  I don’t want him to be out of a room because of my stupid situation.

Everyone Is A Doctor

Isn’t it amusing when you tell someone you have a medical problem (such as headaches)  and suddenly everyone gets out their medical degree and puts on their uniform and gives you advice?.

I called to return a Therapeutic Pillow I ordered which was supposed to be good for headaches, I thought.  However, I am a side sleeper and it has a crease in the center and is meant more for back sleepers.  One of the Customer Service Reps had called the other day telling me of the return policy.  So, I am talking to the girl on the phone and I mention I am a Migraine Sufferer and the pillow is not helping.  She says, “Are you drinking enough water?  My daughter gets migraines but it’s because she doesn’t drink enough water.”  You ever feel like smacking someone through the phone.  I know she meant well.  But relay.  That’s the solution!  None of the doctors in the world can figure this out and it’s my water intake??  I don’t think so.

Then, on Facebook (although I know well-meaning) I find recipe’s from friends for smoothies or drinks to help with headaches and articles about food triggers.  Gosh, it could be food triggers?  Really?  Yes, I know most of my food triggers.  I love Pumpkin Seeds and Cheese but I try to stay away from them especially when I am having bad headache episodes.       I’m already on a gluten-free diet and I have to eat.  My doctors and I both keep track of my diet record.  Thanks for helping point out the idea of food triggers.

Needless to say, I would be shocked should a friend or stranger figure out a solution to this problem when the doctors can’t.

If someone tells you they are sick with headaches, or any aches, try saying, “I’m sorry or “I”ll  pray for you.”  and leave it at that.  It really does help, just  to know you care.

And The Nomination Doesn’t Go To… (My Feelings)

On my last MRI, they’d found white spots and weren’t sure what they were.  Lately, I’ve been reading about white patches in the brains of people who suffer from Migraines.  There ya go.

I contacted my Neurologist yesterday who adjusted my meds.  However, last night before adjusting them; I had horrible, sharp, stabbing pain (almost like an earache) from the left side; which literally made me cry every time it hit.  I thought I would need to go see my Primary today, but surprisingly, I feel better.  I tried the Neurologist’s medication adjustment before bed.  It seems like I get 3 days of pain to 2 days of no pain a week.

Sorry, if these last two entries haven’t kept  your interest.  Sometimes, I don’t write them for humor purposes.  I actually started this blog to keep up with family and friends re: my health and life so I don’t have to keep repeating myself when people ask:  How are you?  I just send them here.

I actually like to throw in a few curve balls and keep it interesting and fun as well.  Like everyone, I LOVE to get Followers.  As a matter of fact, there is something I have to admit/confess.  “It’s been forever since my last Wordpress confession.” HA.  (If you were ever a Catholic, you’ll get that one.)

Anyway,

I’ve been on WordPress for over a year now and I admit/confess that sometimes I get jealous/annoyed/angry when everybody I read and follow keep getting all nominated for these awards and I’ve yet to get nominated for one.  I’m not saying you don’t all deserve it because I’m sure you do.  Heck, I follow you so that is saying something. Right?

I am not asking your advice on how to get nominated for an award.  Nor, do I want your sympathy or to be condemned for my feelings.   I just wanted to admit them.

By the way, it isn’t so much when someone gets nominated.  It’s when they keep getting nominated.  It seems like once someone gets nominated for one award, it becomes a cycle.  Some people I follow post things like, “I haven’t gotten around to responding and thanking everyone for the numerous award nominations I’ve received so I will now and here are my nominations:”

What?  I feel like if I received an award, I would be so honored/excited/happy. I would fall off my chair!  I think the only reason I would not respond in the next post would be because I broke something after falling out of the chair.

Then, when reading the ones I follow and the numerous award nominations they receive.. some/most of which are following me back by the way. I look anxiously to see if my blog was worthy of their nomination for the award.   But alas, despite the fact, they follow me and they’ve received 12, 14, 112, whatever awards. Once again..mine is not in there.

It may seem silly of me to dream of a WordPress Award Nomination, but I guess it is sort of like in High School.  I still feel as if I am trying to fit in and one day, I really will be accepted.

And, don’t you dare nominate me because of a this post.  That would be wrong on so many levels.

I am curious though,

How do you feel about the Wordpress Award System and do you ever feel the same way I do?     

“Haven’t Got Time For The Pain”..Sing It With Me.

Would someone please stop this pain?  Like, maybe just come knock me out with a bat and get it over with for a while?  Not permanently.  I think I need to talk to my Neurologist again.  This Fioricet is not working for me!  Since he changed it from my stronger meds, I’m getting these headaches every other if not, every single day!  I don’t know what to do.

Wait, I literally just opened the auth for my Botox injections with my Neurologist.  I am going to call and schedule the first one.  In the meantime, maybe he can change the dose of my headache med or something.  I get so tired of feeling like I’ve been hit by a Mac Truck.  Plus, we have vacations coming up.  I want to enjoy them.  Why am I dreading the thought of being around noise, people, etc.?

I Survived The Treadmill Test

I walked on the treadmill for 8 minutes yesterday.  That may not seem like much to you but for me, that’s pretty darn good. Especially when they keep making it go faster and taking your blood pressure, plus, they keep talking to you.  It’s like “Stop talking to me and let me concentrate.”

I also just got some really good medical news.  I’ve been approved to get my IGG Infusions/Injections (whatever) at HOME!  Yeah.  That means, I can stay home and watch t.v. in bed with my animals on the bed with me (as long as my cat leaves the I.V. alone.)  I hate the thought of kicking her out of the room, but I may have to since she is a bit curious.  The nurse is going to come to the house and it is 100% covered by insurance.  They said it is more cost-effective this way.  Wow!

I thought I would include a pic of my new work-out outfit which I love so much.  Yes, this will motivate me to work out more, as well.

IMG_20130330_100850

Jane Fonda..Eat Your Heart Out.

 

Test Didn’t Happen

So, my Cardiologist want s me to take Treadmill Stress Test or Myoview..part of which is a Lexiscan. It’s a two-day test.  One day of which I am on the treadmill for a bit and I have an I.V. in my arm and they inject some stuff in me at the last minute of walking and the other part of the test is resting along with radiology pics.  I was told to take all my a.m. pills, but the first day I messed up and only took my anti-rejection so they did the resting portion first and told me to return on Friday to do the treadmill part.  They also said NO Caffeine whatsoever (my headache medicine has caffeine in it) or coffee, etc. 12 hours before the test.  So, here’s the thing.  I woke up on Friday, the day of the test with a splitting headache (Migraine) and could only take a Tylenol.  I took all my a.m. pills on an empty stomach.  I was dry heaving before I even left the house but I said a prayer and figured I would get through.  I was wrong.  The cardiologist girl said, “You can have caffeine before this test.”  By then, it was too late.  Turns out, the radiologist had given me the wrong information.  I had the I.V. in and I was ready but I took one look at the treadmill with my throbbing head and knew it was not going to happen.  Plus, my stomach was starting to churn along with my head.  So, they re-scheduled the test to Monday and unhooked me.

Originally, I thought I could drive home but then re-thought quickly and had them call my husband from work to come pick me up. (We got my car today).  By the time he showed up, I was vomiting.  After I got home and tried to eat and vomited again, I finally took a pill and slept…woke up..ate some more and slept some more until 5 p.m.  During the time I was awake, I called the dr. and made sure a cup of coffee would be okay Monday morning.  I also called Security at the hospital to let them know my car was there.

The hospital system is so messed up.  They really need to give patients (especially patients who have migraines) like me the right information when it comes to caffeine.

Doctors Delays

I don’t understand these medical facilities that think they can just make whatever rules/changes they want and their patients are just gong to jump to change along with them.  I have Hypogammagobulynemia.  Hey, I can barely pronounce it, much less spell it.

Anyway, I am supposed to be starting IGG infusions or injections soon.  Last I heard, they were getting approval for the first ones to be done here at  the house or in a local facility near me.  We live in Orange County and this test was authorized and approved by Cedars-Sinai in Hollywood, CA.  but I was told I would go to a clinic or facility somewhere in Orange County.  I just called Cedars to find out what is taking so long and now they are trying to say they cannot get approval and I will have to go to Cedars for these infusions.  I don’t think so.  I explained that would be a hardship because I do not drive freeways and my husband would have to take a day off work every month to drive me.  My doctor at Cedars had already said it could be done here in Orange county.  I gave them the name of my metabolic doctor here in Orange County and asked why I cannot simply go to CHOC (Children’s Hospital of Orange County) to have the infusions done since that is where I go to see my metabolic doctor.  So, Cedars is trying to work that out and I am expecting a call back today.

I am really hoping to get this started soon, as after this is done for a few months; I can get another procedure done which will really help another aspect in my life.

Being chronically ill is a pain..in more ways than one.