Friends & Recluses

There are two types of people in this world, I’ve discovered: (probably more)

The ones who divulge absolutely nothing about their lives unless you are talking or seeing them in person or unless you ask tons of questions to pull it out of them, and the others who share everything so you can rejoice when they are happy and sympathize/cry with them when they are sad.   I belong to the 2nd set.  Sometimes, I think I talk to much, however, I like my friends to be informed as to what is going on.  Most of my friends (and my husband) belong to the first set, which gets hard.

A friend’s sister has been keeping everyone updated via Facebook about her/his mother being in hospital.  Their mother just died a few days ago.  I have left numerous messages with him and he has not even called me.  I have sent him a personal sympathy gift and I am also sending some flowers to the church.  However, I must say his Not contacting me is a bit of a surprise especially after leaving messages.  It also hurts a bit.  I know he has a lot of family, but still.

I have had situations with other friends who have had important situations occur and did not bother to contact me.  Yet, I would get a hold of them as soon as possible should the same thing occur with me.

I remember my therapist saying I expected to much from people.  I guess when you only have 5 or so friends that you consider “close”, you kind of want them to  share the most important things in their lives with you.  At least I do.

I start to wonder if maybe it is because I do not live close enough to see them as often as we  like, or maybe it is because I am sick all the time  Or maybe, it is because I care to much and I need to stop caring so much for others.

Maybe this is one reason I am turning into a Recluse in a way,  and liking it more and more with my computer friends..indoors

Real Friends

How many real friends do you have, in reality..not those you only talk to on Facebook.  But your supposed true Friends or maybe your BFF’s (should you still use that term).  Can you count them on one hand?  Now of those friends, how many can you turn to in an actual emergency or what you may think is an emergency?  .

I can count my friends on one hand and as to the 2nd part..I don’t know.  I had a situation happen where no one stepped up.  Nobody even asked a friend or neighbor to step up.  It was quite annoying.  This may be considered minor but it was a major situation to me.

My husband tells me I need more friends but there isn’t exactly a store for friends.  I try to start conversations and make small-talk in various places but it has never led to anything.  There was someone I thought it would go somewhere with but..she never called back after saying she would bug me all the time until I got tired of her.

Oh, Please Keep Me As Your Friend

  • When you get these questions on Facebook, what do you do?  Do you jump and beg and say, “Oh please, keep me as your friend.”, Do you ignore it and hope the person doesn’t delete you?  Do you actually answer with “I don’t give a crap.” or do you do nothing and not play into this silly scenario.

These questions are insulting.  If you wish to delete me as you don’t think I am that important.  Go a head.  There is nothing I can do about it.  Nobody is that important that I am going to beg for your Facebook Friendship.

I understand having so many Facebook Friends you cannot keep up every day but to have an app making an announcemnt and asking who wants to stay? It feels like another popularity contest in High-School.

 

True Friends

So today I want to talk about Friends.

How many friends do you have on Facebook?

Now, if you didn’t have Facebook..how many friends would you actually have?

I can count my True Friends on one hand. Okay, maybe some fingers on the 2nd hand.too.  Some would say this is very sad but it is not the quantity of friends that makes the difference but the quality.

Friendship is extremely important to me and sometimes I wonder if I show my friends just how much they really mean to me.  I don’t drive much and most don’t live close; so I have to do so by listening and understanding as often as I can when we communicate.

My Therapist said I expect to much from my friends which is a comment that has bugged me for a long time. This is just not true.  I would say it used to be that I wanted friends so much that I trusted everyone with all my feelings in hopes that we could become friends and they would like me and accept me.

However, with the ones I have now; I only expect what I would be willing to do in return.  Listen, Share, Show up on time or call if late when planning time out, don’t “forget” when planning time out or saying you will call back.  I still get a bit sensitive when I believe we are close and discover big news has been shared with others before me or you “forgot” to call or show up.  How does one “forget” a friend?  Am I not that important that you cannot pick up the phone to say, “I’m sorry, I cannot make it or I’m running late. “Obviously, things happen but “I Forgot!”

I know some people are put in your life for only so long to pass through..maybe to help you learn something or maybe to help you teach them something.  For those, I hope I’ve made a positive difference.

As for the current, close friends that may be following this Blog.  I am proud to call you My Friend and hope we remain so for long time.