Last Post-My Truth

This will be my last post on this blog. I will be ending this one and starting another. Just as this chapter of my life is ending and re-starting.

I need to confess something to you. I haven’t been completely honest lately. I’ve been writing some fiction immersed with truth. While I do miss the life I had and the family we were, I am not still extremely depressed. I have been uncovering some truth, some facts about the man who claims he loves me but is no longer in love with me; bad things. Not just on one website or but numerous websites, phone numbers, accounts I had not known about During and after our marriage. I found HIS picture. I know my husband. I’ve washed those clothes. HIS picture. Needless to say, I am not waiting to get away from this.

I hired a Divorce Lawyer. I’m done. That was over two weeks ago. HE was served today. During those two weeks, I’ve been working off anger. So much anger. Yes, I still do cry once in a while about what was but; not as much and I hardly take Xanax at all. I couldn’t write that. HE reads this. So, I waited. Until Tonight..

HE DENIED IT! ..Every single thing. Come on. Man Up! Give some honesty finally, please. HE denies being on Any website, HE denies having any other account or cell phone, HE denies having cheated on me during or after our marriage. I Have Your Picture! HE says I don’t understand what I’m reading. What? so, I’m an idiot now? Seriously, If it was one site, I may have believed you, but it isn’t. HEe says I’m being spiteful. No, Sweetheart, (read in sarcasm) I’m not being Spiteful, I’m taking responsibility for myself. I’m taking care of myself legally. I’m covering my ASS. I don’t trust you anymore. I’m angry and I’m hurt about the way you ended our marriage after 12 years. You weren’t honest after 2 years if you were so unhappy for 10. Why would you be honest now? I’m paranoid of meeting/trusting any man again. You took my heart and kicked it to shreds after knowing my horrible history and promising me (not to mention our marriage vows which meant nothing to you) that you would never leave me or abandon me. I am not letting you control how the relationship completely comes to an end by using a Mediator or whatever verses an Attorney (I won’t even get into That issue here) because you don’t want to pay money for a Lawyer. To bad. You say, you want me to be happy. Well, I am. We are playing it my way now.

Sorry Readers, so that’s what’s up. He’s been Served! It took forever. I can finally get some sleep and peace. I am going to start a new blog and I will come back and follow a few of my favorites with a different name. When I come back, I will leave those people a comment of who I was (stillstrange). Until then, I really wish you all the best. I love WordPress.

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School Shooting ..My View

Okay, so I haven’t discussed the Connecticut School Shooting because my view is not going to be popular.  But, you know what?  I don’t care.  This blog is my honest opinion.  It is not meant for popularity purposes and other people have to feel this way too and probably don’t want to admit it.  Please remember, it’s an Opinion, Not a Debate.  You can have a different opinion if you so choose.  Here I go:

The children!  The  children!  The poor children!  Yes, he shot the children and I do feel bad about that.  Children are innocent and don’t deserve to die that way.  However, what about the adults that were shot and killed?  The teachers or/and other school administrators?  Do their lives count too?

One Pastor said there were 20 more stars up in heaven now.  Wait, 20?  He is not counting the adults that were killed, he was only counting the children.  So, the adults did not become stars.  One commenter when hearing that said they believed the adults would have stars or patches of light around those stars protecting those 20.  You know those adults have families too.  They were Mothers, Friends, Wives, Sisters, Cousins, etc.  I don’t know if any men died but if so, they may have been Fathers, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, etc. and they were all Co-Workers and School-Administrators or Teachers in some capacity.

And what about the shooters mother?  Did she deserve to be shot in the face by her own son?  From what I’ve heard, she made the wrong choices but she cared.  Obviously, teaching him how to use firearms was not the way to go.  But, she was a Mother, a Friend, an Ex-Wife, and a very, caring person.

In conclusion, although they died and once again, I am very sorry for that.  Why is it all and entirely about the children?  They were not the only ones affected?

 

How Are You..The Question

maybe it was the day you had your first period, or the day you had your first break-up, or the day you won your first award, or the day you graduated from high school or even the day  you turned 21 and became an “Adult.”  Remember the day?

You had changed and you thought everyone had noticed but, they hadn’t.  Instead, they asked you the question; the clerk said, “How are you?”  They don’t want to know.  Not really.  Oh, if it’s good like the high school graduation..they may say “That’s wonderful, Congratulations!” but that would be it before greeting their next customer.  But if it’s bad they don’t want to know.  So you avoid their eyes when answering the question,  “Fine.” You answer.  But, you’re not fine.  Inside you want to scream.  “What’s wrong with you?  The world as I know it is ending.  Don’t you care?  I am numb.  I am nauseated.  I feel as if this is one big, bad, dream and I will wake up.”  So, your glad they don’t engage you in any more conversation as they finish the transaction and you go on your way.

Her Post, But From Inside Me

I read something scary yesterday.  I read a post that could have come from myself from inside my head.  The difference is the girl who wrote it is actually living physically the situation I’ve only mentally gone through.  I would never take the actions nor write the words she wrote in her blog.  I believe there is  a BIG Difference in dreaming and doing.  I am seriously shocked by this persons honesty in a blog and even more shocked by her actions.

I wanted to tell her that I have been there in my head..to let her know she is not the only one, but even that is to much to write in a comment.  That is admittance to a subject that will remain locked away as is best.