Suffering Dog Guilt, But, It Was Best

I saw Petey when I dropped the stuff off for him yesterday. I feel so sad. He didn’t even bark at me when I showed up. That isn’t like him. He is 14 years old. This is a big change for him. He went from one family to another (us) and we loved him and spoiled him and I was home with him all the time and he slept with me. Now, he is alone all day while HE goes to work. This has to be a shock on the poor dog. He is 14 years old! I feel guilty today. I know HE loves that dog. I know HE will take care of him. I also know it was the best decision for me. But, I seriously hope the dog can adjust to this. HE won’t get another dog to keep Petey company, I don’t think. Petey had a cat for company before. Now, he has nobody while HE is at work, and this wknd HE is going away. I don’t even want to think about it.

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After the dog yesterday, I got the car washed, then went to Walgreens and picked up my prescriptions. I also ordered myself some food from The Gluten Free Mall. I’ve found most of the stores I go to such as Mothers, Whole Foods, Sprouts, etc. seem to be further away now so it’s better to just have most things delivered. I like to do that anyway and not deal with the hassle of people and aisles and carts and lines, etc. Plus, this way everything I can eat is all in one place and easier to get without contamination.

Physically, I am doing a bit better this morning. I am planning on going to the lab and then getting coffee and Starbucks for breakfast.

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My Giving Addiction.

I can hardly believe it’s almost June which means the year is half over and I have hardly started Christmas shopping. According to my calculations (which I just did) I need to buy 4 gifts each month to keep up with my list. Even on disability, this should not be to hard as I don’t pick the most expensive of gifts. So, yesterday, I had fun going through one of my many gift catalogs and finding things for my husbands’ and my family. I actually enjoy picking things that I think they might like.

My gift-giving list has gone down from the past because people pass away, friendships are lost and some relatives tell me not to give to them.

Here’s the thing. If you know someone like me who Loves to give where giving means the world to them,(for whatever reason) it is really an insult for you to tell them not to give to you anymore. Honestly, it feels like a slap in the face; almost as if you don’t want me to care.
It does not matter if you like the gifts received, I do not go to your house and ask what you have done with them or where you have put them or why you aren’t using them, or whatever.

It is simply that you are taking my joy of caring away from me toward one more person; thereby diminishing the joy I get in choosing and giving a gift.

Unlike most, I love giving…especially at holidays. I think it my obsession, compulsion, addiction. It does not cause problems for me financially and I don’t see why it causes problems for the receiver. You are welcome to donate the gift, sell it, give it away, whatever, if it is not something you desire. However, don’t tell me.

I have one friend that gives things that are used. The thing with that is, she will announce before-hand that they were used and she either didn’t want it or didn’t like it, etc. so she gives it to me. I do find that a bit tacky because when it comes to re-gifting; I do not believe you shod announce the fact a head of time. She will also ask later on, what I did with the gift received. This puts me in a tough position because I don’t keep a lot of what she gives me. I do not lie to her, however, I do feel a bit bad when I tell her I donated something she gave me.

I do believe before you give something; you should know something about the persons interests (unless it is a neighbor..in which case, that can be tough) and go on that. You usually cannot go wrong with a favorite animal, favorite color or gift card. Of course, gift cards are iffy because it’s good to know where they shop.

Anyway, this blog post started with Christmas Shopping and somehow diverted. I get hurt sometimes when a homeless person turns me down after I offer a bag filled with clothing, soap, food, etc. If you are really homeless; why wouldn’t you accept that?

I think I’ve concluded I definitely have a Giving Addiction which is not a bad addiction to have.

Wknd People Observations

The wknd was nice to a point where I actually got out and went the mall to Victoria’s Secret to buy some bra’s.  Just in time because I’d received my new card and a $10.00 off card.  That is one item I do not buy often so I will not buy a cheap, ill-fitting one.  I also got a gift for a friend who just had to have her cat put down.  Long, sad story..I don’t want to get into.  However:

No, this person does not read my blog (at least I hope not and has never mentioned so) so, I can say this:  After having a long chat with her on the phone about her life and how it was going, I got to thinking about something.  She and her husband have a two (almost two) year old and receive Wic.  He works full-time and she just started a part-time job.  She mentioned that she cannot go  to full-time employment because then she would lose Wic assistance and she doesn’t want to do that.  Isn’t Wic supposed to be a temporary program until people get back on their feet?  How old are the children before the Wic program gets cut off?  Isn’t the goal to want to improve your life and get off of such a system (like food stamps) if possible verses staying on it?

Now, before you compare it – Yes, I am on Disability.  However, I do have a (many) disabilities.  There is no way I could possibly hold a job with how often I am in bed with debilitating headaches, sore throats, viruses, etc.  I do not know from one night to the next if we can even go to dinner.  It’s a big difference and a completely different issue to live with actual chronic pain.

Anyway, I also went to IHOP with my husband and his friend for dinner on Saturday.  It’s amazing how my stomach remains fine when I get what I can eat.  The only thing I can eat there is Strawberry Crepes made with eggs only and whipped cream on top.  Yum.  Plus, the hash browns are okay because they cook them with butter.

My husbands’ friend moved sold his mobile  home and moved into a new apartment.  His live-in girlfriend?, friend? (not sure what the relationship) of what seems like forever is in a rehab/care facility and probably will be for the rest of her life.  I don’t exactly remember why.  I know she just cannot walk hardly at all anymore and has numerous other health issues.  (I used to visit her but after mom died, I just don’t really go to those places anymore.  But, I digress.)   Anyway, his place is nice.  It’s in a Sr. Apartment Complex.  I was just surprised that after all those years together (over 20), there wasn’t one picture of them together.  Yes, he is all unpacked and set up.  This was not just a roommate type situation, as, he still goes to visit her every day.

Pain & Credit Cards

Another bad day for headache pain.  Another day of pills and sleep. eating and water.  That’s it.  My husband came home right after work and had suggested last night and even this morning possibly doing something tonight, but it wasn’t meant to be.  Oh, I tried to get up.  I got up long enough to clean up the cat barf from the carpet this morning.  Don’t know what that was about.  I knew driving anywhere today wasn’t going to happen despite the fact I gave the dog the last of his treats this morning; but he will get lunch meat or cheese or something tomorrow.

I’ve already contacted my doctor and am awaiting authorization from the insurance on Botox treatments.  Yes, I know the side effects.  I’m willing to risk them with all this pain.  I am so tired of pain.  I don’t think I will ever have a pain-free life but I would like to lessen it.

Also, the phone kept ringing due to my Hypogammaglobulynemia and the infusions.  They have been approved.  They will last 6 hours and will be given at home.  I’ve had a phone interview.  Now, I will just have another phone call soon to set the date.  I guess I can lay in bed on those days and watch t.v. or read or play on the phone or whatever.

On another note, my Pay-Pal Credit Card arrived today.  I’ve decided to only use it for e-Bay purchases.  I will know the difference because it has my baby’s (cat) picture on it.  I think the first thing I will use it for will be a gift for my Niece who will be graduating High School in June.  So, I still have two main  credit cards technically since I consider E-Bay like a store, and a debit card.  I have a few other store cards too but I don’t use those very much.  This will be a good way to track just how much I really spend on e-Bay.

Financial & Paying For Blog?.Your Advice

I won something from e-Bay the other day. (Oh, the excitement!) It was actually the 80’s work-out outfit I told you about in my post about 80’s fashion.  Anyway, so I just had to pay as they so nicely remind me.  I click the little Pay-Pal button since that’s the only, safe way to pay.  They keep telling you that too..those silly “they”..Pay Pal People..although it may not be.  I mean, Pay-Pal People are real and how do we know all those people are real honest.  Do they all have background checks or something?  Anyone who works in the financial industry should get a background check first, in my opinion.  But, I digress.  Anyway, so I hit the button but instead of confirmation.. I get some message saying my Pay-Pal Account needs to be verified or needs to be linked to my bank account or some such nonsense because it won’t take my payment.  WHAT?  No, I am not giving you Pay-Pal people my social security number and I do not want to link you to my checking account.  I use a separate credit card for pay-pal and I pay it on time.  What is going on with e-Bay?  So, I call up Customer Service.  Luckily, it’s only like a minute wait.

Imagine when the Customer service guy, we will call him Jon, since he said that was his name, tells me this:  “You have been with us 6 years.  We have a limit you can spend and in your case it was $8,771.77.  It has nothing to do with paying your credit-card bill.  That is completely different.  You need to get verified by linking your account to your checking account or get a free, Pay-Pal Credit Card.”  He did let me pay for the work-out outfit, while I decided what to do.

First I did the math (before I or my husband had a heart attack) 6 years at $8,771,77 total = $1,461.96 year =$121.83 month  which really isn’t to bad.  Then, I had to really think about it.   I do get some really good deals on e-Bay and it mainly takes Pay-Pal.  So, I opted for the Pay-Pal Credit Card but I only used my Disability Income as income so my limit is low.  Of course, this will be my monthly limit.  I still spend less than the total limit amount a month anyway, according to my calculations, so I should be okay and like my husband said if we want to buy anything higher; we could use his Pay-Pal account.

But, here’s the ting.  I feel after 6 years; I am being penalized for being a good Pay-Pal Customer!  We should be rewarded, not forced to be linking our accounts and giving information we don’t want to give.  Just like a credit card, we should have our limits raiseed; not have lifetime limits forced upon us without our knowledge.

So: now I have a question on the same yet different topic:  Let’s talk about WordPress and free blog sites.  I love my blog.  It is another addiction.  I am on the free level.  What happens when I run out of room?  I’ve  considered paying the $18.00 a year but I want to hear from others that do it?  What exactly changes?  Is it true, my blog will definitely stay here as mine?  I don’t want to spend the money and be cut off for some reason.  I really want to hear from people that are using the pay option before making a decision.  

I appreciate any look forward to any and all responses (minus weird spam ones that have nothing to do with anything) and I thank you for reading my blogs.

One Day Healthy= 2 Days Sickly

Okay, so I’ve been sick for two days which does and doesn’t surprise me.  With my health for every one day of exciting activity, I get 2 or more days of sickness.  Cedars called and said my infusions are delayed due  to insurance reasons.  That’s not a surprise either.  I do think I am going to get dressed and go to Von’s today though even if I am sick.  I am totally craving an apple.  I think they also have gluten-free Cous-Cous and I need more bread.  I’ll just get some basics and hold off on Whole Foods until tomorrow or Thursday.  I totally need to make a run to Whole Foods soon because they have everything.

Totally Vintage Jeans

Oh my gosh, My Jordache Jeans arrived and they fit fantastic!  I totally remember them.  It’s not just the brand but the fit.  The high waist.  I can rarely find them anymore.  I can’t stand the low waist jeans.  I also found Levi’s, Gitano, Ditto’s! 
 
Funny story about Ditto’s;
 
My mother bought everything on sale.  I was not really a name-brand person but I so wanted a pair of Ditto Jeans.  They were just cool and everyone was wearing them at school.  I begged mom for a pair of Ditto’s.  Finally, mom got me a pair of green, Ditto jeans.  You would have thought I’d received a Diamond Ring or a gold bar.  I word those jeans to school like I owned the place.  I told everybody,  “Yeah, I’m in.  I’ve got Ditto’s.  See, I dress fashionable.”  Then, it happened.  One of the well-dressed, popular snobs approached me and said, “Why are you wearing those?, Those went out of style last week.”  Needless to say I was devastated.  I was embarrassed.  I could have hidden in a hole.  I was so mad at my mother. 
I went home and told her I was never going to wear those jeans again.  My mother said, “Yes, you are.   I spent good money on those jeans and you are going to wear them.” So, I wore them at home or to church or to whatever social events; but not to school, because they were out of style due to mom waiting until they went on sale. 
 
But you know what?  Vintage is back now!  I’m an adult!  Brands don’t matter.  Comfort matters.  I loved the 80’s and still do.  Anything and everything is fair game.  For those that like to tease me (CelaineyGirl), Yes, I probably will be purchasing some Ditto’s soon.  I even like the 70’s clothes like The Brady Bunch.  Colored jeans and pants, why not?    
 
I say Be Yourself and take pride in your style.     
 

Spending Habits = Book

So, I think I’ve spent to much money this month.

I was reading the Shopaholic book by Sophie Kinsella and it was so good, I had to purchase tha series.  Now, that’s wrong somehow when it is about a Shopaholic and it encourages you to buy.  Mind you, the story isn’t true, but still.  You just have to keep following her.  I did not get the one where she has a baby so that was one less book..but still.

Then, I needed food because I’ve been eating the wrong stuff lately and not reading the labels correctly and my body has been paying for the wrong crap; so I order from an online food store for some gluten-free food and the shipping costs are is outrageous.

I’ve also needed jeans since my jeans are getting to big.  I have like three sizes in the closet but not the ones I need,  and I can’t stand the lower- waist nowadays so I found some really cool, Vintage Jordache which are on the way.

So, like the girl in the Shopaholic book would say, “This is stuff I need and not just stuff I want”.  However, in my case, my husband will help me pay off the bills (amidst much bitching probably) because we don’t go allow ourselves to go into debt; so my spending habits would not make a very amusing book.

Fergetfulness Can Be Funny

I really should stay away from Petco because I alway’s wind up buying teats and toys my babies don’t really need while I’m there.  I used the gift card my friend gave me but I still bought extra toys that we really didn’t need although my fur-babies love (of course) and my old, dog insisted on treats so what could I do?

On another note, I think I am losing my mind.  What else is new?  I really thought the housekeepers had gone and cleaned inside a few of the drawers when here, but, then I checked with my husband and he said that the adult drawer (which I’d questioned) was the same as he always kept it, which makes me think; maybe I am the one that hid my diary so they wouldn’t find it and maybe I am the one that folded my clothes in the other drawer a while back when sorting them and forgot.  It is possible.  Sometimes, when my headaches increase, or a lot is on my mind, or I eat the wrong foods and gluten reactions hit; I do weird things and completely forget.

It’s to bad because the suspicion of a Housekeeper finding our adult porn drawer was rather funny, I’ll admit.  I even asked my husband if he was sure he didn’t hear anything that sounded like a vacuum but wasn’t.  HA!

Men = Football,Woman = Shopping

I just returned from my favorite thrift store titled Grateful Hearts in Los Alamitos, CA.  I actually need to check out their other store titled, The Feed Store which is located in Long Beach, CA. because I’ve heard they have more vintage clothing and I haven’t been there yet.  But, anyway, Grateful Hearts is having a  75% off sale today in order to re-stock and I can’t believe I spent less than $5.00 on two shirts (one for me and one for my husband), a Birthday Present for my husbands’ Niece, and a small item for the OCC box I am working on.  I have also already ordered a few items for Christmas and/or B-Days for later in the year.  I know it is only January but I am an all-year shopper and I need to start early in order to not go broke in December.

My husband went to watch football and eat dinner somewhere.  I wish he had taken a pic of my face when he invited me and said “it would be fun”.  No, I don’t think so.  I’ve entertained the idea of doing some of the same things he likes to do but going somewhere where guys get all excited when other guys knock each other down for a ball is not my idea of fun.  Plus, the yelling just increases my headaches.  No thank-you.  I told him, it would be like inviting him to a musical which I might find “fun.”  I know he wouldn’t  find that fun at all.

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