House Tour In My Mind

He texted me on Friday that the house was for sale with the price and I will get half.

I immediately started looking up websites to see the pictures. Why? To put myself through the agony of touring my house again. That’s why. To see if they did anything to it to get it ready to sell.

To remember my kitchen and sitting at the table where I read the paper or did paperwork or ate, to see our BIG 73 inch? television set that HE wanted and the theater seating. I know we had surround sound yet, we rarely used it. To see our back yard and almost cry over the memories of the bird feeders as I remembered throwing bread or filling the feeders all the time to keep them full and watching MY birds or all the birds in the neighborhood fly in, and remembering having to put a little wire fence around the feeder so Petey wouldn’t eat the bird-seed. I walked down the hall (in my memory) and saw my Library which is empty now except for a chair and the exercise bike which HE teased me because I barely used, but I got a good deal on that bike where I used to work and I did use it quite a bit until I got sick. HIS room was once the guest room and not much is shown of it, but it was also once the Coke room holding all my Coca-Cola Collectables and the Hall Bathroom matched. Surprisingly, the Hall Bath is the same. The Coca-Cola Curtains are still up in the Bedroom and the Coca-Cola Shower Curtain is still up in the bath. I thought you were supposed to keep everything generic in case a buyer did not like Coke. I remember looking for and finding Coca-Cola knobs for the cabinets and I really, miss my large, sink in, Jacuzzi Tub. The Master Bedroom which became mine had been painted to match the bath. Picking the paint had been an excruciating process but I had finally found just the right shade of gray. It is still painted that color but the bath has been re-painted to match the main walls of the house which looks really stupid, in my opinion. The shower itself, is gorgeous; as I remember having it redone from the original. Then, we have HIS office. HE never did really want to decorate in there or make it HIS but he did have some Laker stuff. There is not much now.

I think I understand now why he kept it plain and bare. I guess if you don’t love your wife and haven’t for over ten years, you might give up the relationship any time so what’s the point of decorating and trying to make a place home? I did give him a cardboard, stand-up Shaq for a gift though and I am hoping it is in the garage, as he did say he would not give it away or sell it, but was probably going to keep it and take it with him if he moves somewhere new. I did not see it in any of the pictures, so I wonder. Of course, he said a lot of things that weren’t true. (refer to last post) and Shaq really doesn’t matter anymore.

We arrive back in the Living Room, as there are no pics posted of the garage.

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Everything Is Going Away

Wasn’t it just Tuesday morning that I called HIM and canceled the garage sale? Imagine my surprise when I showed up to the house yesterday to discover almost the entire garage cleared out. That’s right. My Coca-Cola Collection was still there as HE knew I was coming to pick that up, but very little else. I had expected to see it and go through it one last time and decide what to share with whom. I have a few neighbors I wanted to give things to; but most was already gone. Talk about a shock to the system. I know HE likes to get things done but that was way to fast, in my opinion. And emotional? You bet.

To add to the emotion for the day, the bedroom set has been sold. I knew HE was going to sell it and I did get half the money for it. Money is not the issue. But, the empty room! The memories of laying in my comfortable bed with my cat AND dog curled next to me. I could just cry! (and I definitely have/did/am/will). In the early days, laying next to him in that bed and watching t.v. together.complaining because HE gassed to much. It was a really, pretty black, lacquer bedroom set and I remember HIM saying it was great that we had the same taste in furniture. The memories are amusing but the whole situation is so very, painful. I guess I’m glad I wasn’t there to watch that bedroom set go. I hope whoever bought it makes beautiful memories on/with it.

There are more things to be sold coming up. I know some will not bother me as much but there are memories with each. Luckily, I won’t be there to see them. The backyard Spa which was awesome to have but I didn’t use very often after we got a Jacuzzi Tub. HE did, and I used to tease him about going naked in the Spa. “Oooh-La-La! Naked Man Alert!” Of course, that was at night when it was dark. We lived in a good neighborhood and it wasn’t like someone would peek over the fence. HE should just sell the Spa as part of the house..even if it is above ground. There is also the Pool- Table which was more something he wanted. It was fun, at first. But, it’s one of those things where you should probably have lots of friends or parties in order to enjoy it often. So, it became more of a storage table for our garage. We should get some money for it though. It is in good condition.

Then, there is the house, itself. Oh My Gosh, I don’t want to talk about that now. That’s when our lives together have completely ended, I guess. Even though I know (although there really isn’t any) if that 2% chance snuck in, it wouldn’t matter where we lived, it’s hard to see the house where you once loved each other (even if he only loved me for two years..whatever) go to someone else.

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