Christmas is coming and I suppose harsh reality has set in. The reality that our family got together mainly or possibly only because of my mother. When my father was alive, things were different. Family holidays weren’t necessarily the dreaded events noone wanted to attend. Although an argument may occur, the family did have fun together. Heck, the preparation itself could be amusing as we used to have one of those gigantic fake tree’s with colored limbs and it would take hours to see which color went to which matching colored hole in the tree as the colors were never painted on exactly matching as they should have been.
After my father passed on, my mother met someone else. She was happy with him. We children weren’t to sure. Some tried hard not to compare him to dad as he never could nor would take his place while I think others chose never to accept this man as good enough for mom.
Anyway, this man owned a place in AZ and CA so they would visit AZ in the Winter where they really enjoyed partying with people their age. Family Christmas’s had ceased as it would seem forced with this man there anyway; so mostly we were on our own. When we did have family holidays it was because mom was in town so we should try to gt together.
Mom is gone now as is her husband (but that’s another story) so what’s the point? We are spread in different area’s and states and we suffer from our own ailmemnts and problems. There is no parent we have to support and pretend we have that t.v. family relationship for anymore. Nor is there an obligation to call each other should we choose not to. We never really did anyway. We called mom’s and played “Pass The Phone”. Presents? Nope. All obligations have ceased. Although I never thought presents to be an obligation (a point I’ve brought up many times due to the fact that if you get someone a present and don’t wish to..it is certainly not from the heart.). but for those that do wish to there may be a few e-mails, phone calls, and packages in the mail.
I think it sad but probably common that when one loses both parents, most families divide and you are forced to grow up or at least become independent…no matter what age you may be.